Sunday, April 12

Open Letter to Terrible Ted: Lessons in EPIC FAIL

Last Sunday Terrible Ted Nugent - the Yosemite Sam of Rock-n-Roll - wrote an Op-ed for the Waco-Tribune Herald, in which he threw in full bore with Rush Limbaugh and against President Obama.

Ted Nugent: Praying for Obama to fail

Observe how the Obama media machine and soulless liberal media jumped on Rush Limbaugh’s comments that he “wanted Obama to fail.”

Anyone with a half a brain knows Rush wants only this: for America to succeed and for anti-American policies to fail.

To leave no doubt where I, your humble Motor City guitarslinger, stands, let me report without ambiguity, that I get down on bended knee daily and pray to God that he does what he can to ensure President Obama fails.

Being a fellow Rock Musician, and yes a fan (of some of his music) I've felt for the last few days that a open-letter to Theodore was needed in response, one which shows the appropriate tone and respect. To wit.

    Dear Ted, you ignorant pedaphiliac slut.

    When you say that the current duly-elected President of the United states is "Anti-American" - exactly what the fuck does that mean? What is he Canadian? French?

    Trust me, I have more than half a brain, and when Rush Limbaugh said he wanted "Obama to Fail" he seems to be under to sad delusion that their is any possible way that Obama might fail, and the rest of the country won't go down too. We are facing challenges to the economy, challenges overseas diplomatically and strategically that are enormous. Let me tell you something Theodore - FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION!

    Ok, to be fair - I'm gonna let you answer my question above for yourself, being slightly more than half-brained as I am.

    Like Rush, I wouldn’t want Obama to fail if his agenda weren’t built on feeding the gluttonous, unaccountable Fedzilla beast, so clearly the enemy of the free market, of real jobs and proven economic growth.

    Since that is Obama’s agenda, however, those of us who believe in a limited federal government and the wondrous wealth-and-job-creating free market should hope, pray and work to ensure Obama’s anti-free market policies fall flat on their face.

    So let me get this shit straight, "Obama is feeding the FEDZILLA!"? Ok, he's doing this how? By putting money in the hands of the States with the Stimulus bill? If the FEDZILA was growing under Obama, how exactly are Palin, Jindal and other governors able to even make any arguement that they don't WANT the money? (Even though all of them are taking the money!) Obama wants to put funds in the hands of the people, not into a huge federal byzantine bureacracy that will dictate and control everything. That kind of thing was someone elses gig...

    Wasn't it President Bush who instituted the largest growth in Federal Power and Employees of the past 40 years with the creation of the Department of Homeland Security? Why, yes it was. Wasn't it Al Gore, during the Clinton administration who reduced the size of all departments of the Federal Government by a an average of 10% in order to produce the first federal surplus in the last half century? Didn't Bush BLOW THROUGH THAT Surplus like a drunken sailor?

    Yep, he did.

    The guy who implemented a limited government was Clinton, Bush's government simply didn't work - period. The result wasn't a "wondrous wealth-and-job-creating free market" - it was a complete and total meltdown. How's Your 401-K doing Ted? Most people saw their incomes rise under Clinton, then saw them fall under Bush by an average of $2000. We had enforcement of the laws in order to keep criminal corporations for running rampant under Clinton - under Bush we had poison in our food, poison in our rivers, streams and fish, and a bunch of greedy drunken fucking pirates running our corporations like Enron, Global Crossing, Adelphia, Bear-Sterns, Lehman Brothers and AIG deep into the ground.

    But then you aren't comparing Obama to Clinton are you - you have another hated Democrat in mind.
    A wise man once stated that those who fail to remember the lessons of the past are destined to repeat them. If we can compare President Obama’s economic carnage agenda to anyone in the recent past, it unquestionably would be Jimmy Carter.

    Carter’s deranged economic policies in the late 1970s ruined the economy and put America in the worst fiscal shape since the Great Depression.

    Remember gas rationing, double-digit interest rates, stagflation?

    Ok, let's get serious. Exactly WHAT policies did Carter implement that caused that? What did he do the CREATE inflation? Maybe it wasn't him, maybe it was something else?

    How about Vietnam?

    You remember the Vietnam War don't you Ted? That was the War that you avoided by spending weeks CRAPPING IN YOUR PANTS (or so you claimed), so you could duck out of the draft. I guess,it's tough for people who don't have few lucky anal cysts handy.

    A lot of Carter's problems had to do with the post-Vietnam downturn that usually follows in the wake of a massive ramp-down in defense spending after a war. (The same thing happened in the early 90's as the cold-war ended, and would've happened after WWII if not for the massive domestic investments implemented by Truman and Eisenhower) Don't think so? Ok, look at this chart.

    See that first spike of inflation in 1970, and the second in 1973? Who was President then? If you said "Carter" - you Fail!

    Think seriously Theodore, the tendency for inflation was already in place. The match was already lit, what happened to Carter was the addition of a few thousand barrell's of gasoline - or rather - Oil. How much of the gas rationing of the 70's had to do with the OPEC Oil embargo of 1973-1974? I think just about all of it. The rise in inflation in the late 70's (under Carter) was clearly related to other factors including the Iran Hostage Crisis, which no one could have anticipated. Even the students who stormed our Embassy didn't know what the hell they were doing at the time, or what would happen as a result. Carter, I think to his credit, avoided letting that situation lead us into a war - but he did so at the cost of his Presidency.

    The point here is many of these situations were created by the actions of Nixon, Ford, and U.S. policy going back for decades. Carter inherited all of that inflation mess from those who came before him. In fairness, I would agree that Carter didn't handle things well, but it's not because he implemented policies that created or exacerbated the situation - certainly not by raising taxes which he DIDN'T DO - it because of the opposite. The simple fact is, Carter didn't do enough. He sat on his hands, he was slow in responding - that's what he deserves to be criticized for, not "creating" that situation.

    But what-oh-what Teddy, since you were so thoughtful as to dredge all this ancient history up - is it that Obama should do instead of the stagnating "policies" of Carter?

    Fast-forward just a few months after American voters fired Carter for his gross incompetence on all levels. America was on the road to a 25-year economic expansion, possibly the longest in our nation’s history.

    Recognizing that unfair, punitive high taxes were the road to economic destruction, Ronald Reagan cut taxes and the economy lifted off. Interest rates fell. Inflation was curtailed. Americans went back to work in droves.

    It seems to me that taxes were pretty high in the 50s, and in the 60's and the economy was doing just fine. As a matter of fact they were - see the bottom chart number 2, which shows that the top marginal tax rate during that time actually peaked at 92% during the 50's. Somehow, life (and American prosperity) went on...

    Yes, Reagan cut taxes for the wealthiest from about 80% all the way down to the low 30's (as the bottom part of the chart shows), but that not really what made the economy take off. He also dramatically increased spending - particularly defense spending.

    During the 80's I worked for a defense contractor, and I can tell you from first hand experience - it was a major economy booster, at least until 91' when the cold war ended. People had jobs, with paychecks and they spent their money. On food, on cars, on homes, on travel and vacations. They spent quite a bit, and that defense spending put money in the pockets of lots of people who had nothing to do with the industry.

    But it was nowhere near the utopia you paint.

    One year after implementing what was then the largest tax cut in history, Reagan immediately implemented the largest tax INCREASE in history (at that time) after his first cut exploded the deficit (Y'know - the FEDZILLA beast you're so a-scared of...? That's Reagan's Beast, not Obama's.)

    Oh and don't even play that "It was the Democratic Congress" that wouldn't cut spending game - every budget that Congress approved during Reagan's Presidency SPENT LESS than what he asked for.

    The end result of Reaganomics was a massive shift of the tax burden away from those who for decades had easily been able to shoulder the burden onto the backs of those who couldn't. Inflation went down, but then unemployment went up. Some people got rich, other people - particularly Veterans, which obviously doesn't include YOU Teddy - went homeless and untreated for PTSD and other disorders. Reagan talked a great game, really he did, but he ignored those who needed help the most. He demonized them, and hobbled the government from being able to do it's job. He ignored the Vets, he ignored the sick - particularly those suffering from AIDS and drug addition until both became epidemics raging out of control. Nice job Ronnie.

    When we were attacked in Beirut - he CUT AND RAN LIKE A SCARED RABBIT!!!!

    He not only "Pal'd around with terrorists" he gave them weapons!! And when he got caught, he LIED about it. Whatta Role Model he was.

    You wanna talk about the "Free Market"? Hey, don't you remember "JUNK BONDS"? Corporate Raiders whose entire reason to exist was to buy a company only to dismantle it and ship the jobs overseas? Remember Black Friday and the Savings and Loan Crash? Remember Gordon Gekko?

    "Greed is Good!" Right Ted? "So what if a few million Americans get trampled in the process, they shouldn't have been laying on the road in the way. Lazy FUCKS!!! They probably need and F-150 up their ass to give 'em some motivation!"

    All of that shit either occurred directly on Reagan's watch or as a direct result of his ROB THE POOR AND GIVE TO THE RICH policies, which were repeated and eventually led us to GRAND EPIC FAILURE of the Bush Administration.

    And so, that's what you think we need to go back to?

    I don't think so.

    Remember your history and pray for President Obama to fail. I fear for America if we allow him to succeed.

    America will succeed, but it's going to do with Despite You and your feeble self-defeating Prayers Teddy. We can't go back down the road we've been own after decades of Republican leadership. Only under President Clinton have we truly seen some of these massive fuck-ups straightened out, and even he didn't go far enough in ensuring that *everyone* has a decent and fair chance at properity, not just the connected, the lucky and the already rich.

    You can pray for what you want - but I'm praying for YOU and Rush and Glenn and all your wingnut syncophats to massively fail - yet again - as your buddy Bush was too clueless and arrogant to pay attention to Bin Laden and failed to stop 9/11, failed to find ANY weapons in Iraq, failed to secure that country after they wrongfully invading it, failed to respond to the Insurgency, failed to understand that a person who trusts you will tell you truth while someone who fears you will tell you anything they think you want to hear, failed to keep the Congress safe from an Anthrax attack, failed after Katrina to rescue the desperate, failed to find, capture or kill Bin Laden, failed to provide us with vaccines to minimize preventable diseased, failed to realize Terry Schiavo was blind and brain-dead, failed to keep the American people safe from anti-freeze in our toothpaste, failed to protect us from poison in our medicine and a insane predatory lending/credit default-swap system of monitized mortgages that nearly brought the entire world economy crashing down around your ears!

    Why the FUCK should we listen to you people now!!?

    Republicans have done nothing but FAIL for years now. None of us have been praying for it - only praying for it TO BE OVER! Now it finally is. Show some class and eat your failure pie quietly in the corner like a good doddering old irrelevant Rocker. And take Up-Chuck Norris with ya.

    If Obama had failed today - the Somali Pirates who had been holding a U.S. Captain hostage for the last several days would have succeeded. But they didn't, Obama succeeded while you were Praying. Against. Him! Good job, but you failed again.

    Bottom line: You guys should already know a lot about MASSIVE TOTAL ABJECT FAILURE - it's all you're good at. Obama isn't Carter, and he's isn't Clinton either - he's his own person and the sooner you Wingnut Friedmanomic Luddites recognize that the better off we'll all be.

    You're Real Rock friend, sincerely.


    P.S. If you haven't had enough from this whupping, I'll be happy to Whup your ass on Lead Guitar too, particularly since you haven't learned a new lick in 35 years. Hell, Tommy Shaw from you last credible band Damn Yankees could play circles around you Ted, what were you even there for - Comedy Relief? Haw!

Some may wonder why I bother spending so much time on a irrelevant dim-bulb like Nugent? It's because he's making noise about running for Governor of Michigan in 2010 - that's why! Yes, REALLY! One thing this nation doesn't need is another Palinite Blowhard NitWit Governor, Bow-hunting Deer from a Helicopter...while destroying our collective common sense.

Enough is enough.

1 comment:

Andrew T. said...

When in doubt, I whip it out and piss all over the Motor City Madman's sentiment!