The State of Dis-Union and other High Comedy

Well, that was entertaining because I just love a good fairy-tale, don't you? I think he should get George Lucas to produce the movie version, or maybe it needs the Bruckheimer touch? A little Black Hawk Down mixed with Places in the Heart? A great Action Hero, Down Home Family movie for all ages where the bad guys are real bad evildoers and the good guys make sure that the mothers of our fallen soldiers are quickly whisked away before the opening credit less their quiet sobs in the back of the room spoil everyone's mood. Or worse - they wear a T-Shirt with a little too much truthiness to it. (Never mind the clear illegality of such an action)

Maybe we'll let them stay, as long as they allow themselves to be used for cheap jingoism?

Purple Fingers Good - T-Shirts Bad!

Still the best parts, were all in the audience participation segments - because as we all know, it's all about the "Hokey Pokey"! (Aka The Official Dance of the Congress Critters as they jump up and down from their seats on cue like trained seals!) Arr! Arr! Clap! Clap!

Except, of course, for those telling moments when they didn't.

The first thirty minutes were pretty dull. We got your basic empty platitudes about bipartisanship....

In a system of two parties, two chambers, and two elected branches, there will always be differences and debate. But even tough debates can be conducted in a civil tone, and our differences cannot be allowed to harden into anger. To confront the great issues before us, we must act in a spirit of goodwill and respect for one another -- and I will do my part.

Yeah, right - sure. When was the last time the President consulted with the minority party on anything? No Child Left Behind? Harriet Miers? In Congress, Democratic bills are ignored - conference committees occur between Republicans and their Lobbyists behind closed doors. Democrats don't even get the chance to offer amendments.

How about Dick Cheney to Pat Leahy on the floor of the Sennate- "Go Fuck Yourself".
Civil? This a complete sham of "bipartisanship", but if Boy King George likes to pretends it's not, who am I to throw cold water on his fever dream?

After that we had a series of easy gimmes...

The only way to protect our people, the only way to secure the peace, the only way to control our destiny is by our leadership -- so the United States of America will continue to lead.

Every step toward freedom in the world makes our country safer -- so we will act boldly in freedom's cause.

At the start of 2006, more than half the people of our world live in democratic nations. And we do not forget the other half -- in places like Syria and Burma, Zimbabwe, North Korea, and Iran -- because the demands of justice, and the peace of this world, require their freedom, as well.

When they murder children at a school in Beslan, or blow up commuters in London, or behead a bound captive, the terrorists hope these horrors will break our will, allowing the violent to inherit the Earth. But they have miscalculated: We love our freedom, and we will fight to keep it.

But our enemies and our friends can be certain: The United States will not retreat from the world, and we will never surrender to evil.

I am confident in the skill and spirit of our military. Fellow citizens, we are in this fight to win, and we are winning.

During most of these sections, you had both side of the aisle rise in enthusiastic support. And these are pretty cool things to say -- "Freedom's on the March" and all that. (Yeah, I know he didn't say that until later). The first obvious break came when he said this...

The road of victory is the road that will take our troops home. As we make progress on the ground, and Iraqi forces increasingly take the lead, we should be able to further decrease our troop levels -- but those decisions will be made by our military commanders, not by politicians in Washington, D.C.

The Democrats stood down on this one - quiet as church mice, while Republicans cheered. Besides the fact that Mr. Bi-Partisan just too a cheap shot at Rep John Murtha, the content of what he's saying is very interesting. You had General Shinseki advising that we needed far more troops, as well as studies from the Rand Corporation and similar advice from political leaders on the ground in Iraq like Paul Bremer. But did political appointees like Rumsfeld listen? Noooooo.

The reasons Senators Biden, McCain, Lugar and Hagel have said we needed more troops, is because that's what the troops told them, because Rummy ain't hearing it.

Biden on CNN last July.

"I was there Memorial Day -- not one single general, not one single major, not one single colonel I spoke to you -- and I spoke to, I think, all of them, all of the major players -- not one of them said they had enough troops. Not one. And you've been reporting that. Your folks have been going out to Iraq. Your folks in Iraq have been interviewing the military guys on the ground. I don't know who's talking to the president."

Oooh, Snap!

The Preznit continued... speaking on Iran becoming a free democratic state (Before or after we turn it into a shinny glass bowl with bunker-busting nukes, I wonder?) Fighting Global Aids (What he hell has he done on that lately?) and of course supporting homeland security.

Fortunately, this nation has superb professionals in law enforcement, intelligence, the military, and homeland security. These men and women are dedicating their lives, protecting us all, and they deserve our support and our thanks.

Sure, everyone is all for that. But then in the very next sentence...

They also deserve the same tools they already use to fight drug trafficking and organized crime -- so I ask you to reauthorize the Patriot Act.

Republicans - Yay! Democrats - crickets. Oh, by the way - the Patriot Act has officially expired. Funniest - Shit - EVER!

Since he was already in deep, like up to his knees with this Patriot Act stuff - why not go for the full dunk with the NSA Spying? Sure. Let's do it. Grab your scooba gear.

It is said that prior to the attacks of September the 11th, our government failed to connect the dots of the conspiracy. We now know that two of the hijackers in the United States placed telephone calls to al Qaeda operatives overseas. But we did not know about their plans until it was too late.

As has been noted, there were numerous warnings which went unheeded. An FBI informant was living with this men. They'd already been identified as possible terrorist by the CIA, wanted by the FBI and were already on the State Dept TIPOFF list. We didn't need to have the NSA listen in on their phone calls. The Left Hand (CIA, State) just need to let the Right Hand (FBI Headquaters) know what the heck was going on. FBI agents in the field, were already on the case.

So to prevent another attack -- based on authority given to me by the Constitution and by statute -- I have authorized a terrorist surveillance program to aggressively pursue the international communications of suspected al Qaeda operatives and affiliates to and from America.

Ok, if were only listening to "al Qaeda operatives and affiliates" why is the FBI being buried under a mountain of bogus NSA leads? Why are they targeting Greenpeace and Peta? And why did that spying begin before 9/11?

Previous Presidents have used the same constitutional authority I have,

Some have tried, those who did it in secret (Wilson, Roosevelt) were never challenged in court. Those who were challenged (Lincoln, Truman) both lost - and Clinton did something entirely different. No sale.

and federal courts have approved the use of that authority.

No, they haven't. The Court found in both Youngstown and Hamdi that judicial review was clearly required when the President's Article II Powers intersect with the 4th Amendment.

Appropriate members of Congress have been kept informed.

But according to the Congressional Research Service - the limited nature of those briefings may have been illegal.

The terrorist surveillance program has helped prevent terrorist attacks.

That remains highly doubtful at this point. But even if true, it's highly likely that anyone captured as a result of warrantless FISA wiretaps would have an excellent "Fruits of the poison tree" claim. So the way to protect America is to break the law and make sure that terrorists can't be brought to justice?

It remains essential to the security of America. If there are people inside our country who are talking with al Qaeda, we want to know about it, because we will not sit back and wait to be hit again.

Of course we won't. But it would be nice, if we insisted that those who strive to protect us would do their jobs in accordance with the law rather than look for cheap (and wasteful) shortcuts. It seems that numerous attorneys at DOJ such as James Comey as well as professionals at NSA such as Russell Tice (most of whom are Republican) seem to feel the same way.

And lets not forget the deep irony of the President saying, "Tonight we are comforted by the hope of a glad reunion with the husband who was taken so long ago, and we are grateful for the good life of Coretta Scott King" - and point out that the U.S. Government illegally wiretapped her husband, so long ago.


I think that these comments here by the President are his new "16 Words". He's stepped into it big time, and it's going to cost him. And I think the Democrats knew it - because as I watched the playback, I swear I could see them -- Laughing! Hillary Clinton was quite obvious cracking up, as the President did his spiel on the NSA.

They did more than just remain in their seats - they mocked him. And that friends is truly a good sign.

After this you had the typical lopsided reaction to the Presidents "Tax Plan".

Because America needs more than a temporary expansion, we need more than temporary tax relief. I urge the Congress to act responsibly, and make the tax cuts permanent.

Other great moments in comedy. On this next one, John McCain looked like he was about to burst a blood vessel trying to do an immitation of one of those little toy monkey's with the cymbals:

I am pleased that members of Congress are working on earmark reform, because the federal budget has too many special interest projects. (Applause.)

Sadly, it looked like he was the only person clapping. If one lone reformer claps in an empty chamber, does anyone hear?

It's interesting to note that although Bush did manage to mention Bill Clinton (saying that he and Bill were two of his father's favorite people - a comment that prompted an icy grin from Bill's Wife Hillary), he manage to get through the entire speech without mentioning Osama Bin Laden.

And just where is Osama as well as Al-Zawahiri, anyway? Apparently he's on CNN.

And we can tackle this problem together, if you pass the line-item veto. (Applause.)

SPIT-TAKE! The wha?? Didn't that get already passed during Clinton's term and shot down by the Supreme Cou.... uh, oh. Here we go again folks. A "Golden Oldie" from the Contract on America has just come back from the grave, courtesy of spanking new Justices Roberts and Alito. Anyone wanna take bets on how long the 13th, 14th and 15th Amendments are going to last?

And then of course you had the absolutely funniest moment of the entire night, a moment which caught the President in mid whine about the sad and lingering death of his entire agenda...

Congress did not act last year on my proposal to save Social Security -- (applause) --

Actually, it wasn't just applause -- it was a War Whoop - "YEEEE-hAaaaahhh" - coming from the Democrats celebrating Bush's utter and complete failure to radically change the Social Security program.

That my friends was a vital moment. (I think I rewound and watched it again about fives times) We have to remember that we beat them on that point. Even as weak and ineffectual as the Democratic Party has been - we won on that battleground.

And we can win again. We will win again. And again. And again.

"YEEEEE-haaaaaahhh!!!". (rewind)

Vyan