Wednesday, March 11

Beck, Norris and Bauer - the Triumvariate of Wingnuttery

After reading rec'd diaries by Meteor Blades and Winter Rabbit on the Seccesionist Rants of Glenn Beck and Chuck (The President of Texas) Norris - I had a feeling we may have just crossed a Rubicon of Serious Nuttbaggery.

Then I went and found the actually interview and it's really much worse than previously advertised.


BECK: Chuck's the author of Black Belt Patriotism: How to Reawaken America. Chuck, you know what? I was talking about General Petraeus the other day. I mean this sincerely: I would love to have General Petraeus go up to Washington and clean that hornet's nest out. I'd like him to set up a military tribunal and call them in one by one, okay, going to have a little interview with you. Find out if they're guilty or innocent of being involved in, you know, all kinds of the scandals that are going on and kick them out.

NORRIS: I want to go with General Petraeus myself and be next to him and when he finds out who's guilty and, you know, dishonest, then I will take care of it for him. Took him out. I'll choke them out, the ones that he finds dishonest, I will choke them out and stick them into a pile.

Ok, let me get this straight - Chuck and Beck are talking here about essentially Overthrowing the Government, setting up their hero Petraeus as Military Dictator and putting Congress on trial one by one, after of course violently assaulting them without provocation. (Why not just use Gitmo and skip the trial?!)

This is more than a step beyond Michelle (Crazy like a Loon) Bachmann who felt there should be an investigation of Congress for "Anti-Americanism".

They then get into a discussion of one of my favorite subjects - that's right - the Enduring Heroism Neo-Conism of Jack Bauer.

GLENN: Do you ever watch 24?

NORRIS: I'm sorry?

GLENN: Do you ever watch the TV show 24?

NORRIS: No, I don't.

GLENN: Jack Bauer last night, he choked somebody out. Is that hard to do without killing them?

NORRIS: Yeah, you stop after 8 seconds. It takes 8 seconds for them to go unconscious.

GLENN: And then they --

NORRIS: They are always saying -- you know, since Jack Bauer, since I'm off the Walker series, everyone says, would Walker have a chance against Jack Bauer? I said Jack Bauer would last 5 seconds against Walker.

GLENN: Wow. But could you know which wire to cut if it was a nuke? Come on, Walker, come on, buddy.

NORRIS: I have good instincts, Glenn. My gut reaction will tell me which one to cut. That happens to Bauer, he doesn't know, either.

Hey guys - Bauer's a FICTIONAL CHARACTER! But then apparently so is Chuck Norris. I have talked time and time and time again about how the Wingers have been using Bauer and his actions as their Ultimate Example of Justice and LIberty. This is yet just another example of how divorced they are from facts and realty. Even if they realize HE'S NOT REAL - they not so secretly wish that he was real.

To further this point they go on to discuss a never released TV movie about an Osama Bin Laden "Dirty Bomb" attack on Chicago that was apparently filmed and scheduled to be shown just after September 11th and called - get this - "Ground Zero" - but was pulled by CBS. What a suprise, eh? (I'm willing to bet they could get ABC to put it on, they'll put on anything particularly if it makes Bill Clinton or Democrats in general look bad - just get Joel Surnow to write it.)

Beck: Holy Cow, that's amazing

Yeah, well the first episode of Fox's the X-Files Spinoff "The Lone Gunmen" which was shown just a couple months before 9-11 featured an attempt to crash an airplane into the World Trade Center - so you're not really all that special with the near clarvoiant TV Chuck.

On the Gunmen, the attempt to destroy the Tower is just a False Flag ploy to get the military industrial complex fired back up into high gear and start a war with a completely innocent nation - but then who would believe anyone in America would fall for something like that?

Yeah, right. Thank God it's just Tee Vee.

In the latest episode of "24" which as usual, got pretty stuck in my craw - Jack's latest failed interrogation gets a re-boot when Agent Walker (Hmm.. Walker!!?) proclaims "IF we'd just done things Jack's Way none of (all the usual "24" terrorist attacks) would have happened".

Ok, I've been watching all season and my question to the "24" writers is this: WHEN THE FUCK DID THEY NOT DO THINGS JACK's WAY!??

Simply because the "24" fans will always argue with me and try to justify anything Jack does - Let me just take a short walk through the ridiculousness of that statement (and hence try again to debunk the right-Wings endless syncophantic Worship of all things Bauer.)

    Episode 1: Jack and Agent Renee Walker interrogate a gun-runner suspected of having ties to an impending terrorist attack. Renee let's Jack do whatever he wants - and the guy ends up shot by a sniper before he can reveal too much.

    Episdoe 2: Jack figures the sniper had help from someone in the FBI and tells Renee he's disguised himself as one of them, they follow a suspicious agent and lo-and-behold he leads them directly to their target: Tony Almeida.

    Episode 3: Jack asks to interrogate Tony himself - THEY LET HIM - and he discovers that Tony is working undercover to infiltrate the terrorists, so Jack helps Break him out of FBI headquarters.

    Episode 5: Jack and Tony help kidnap a foreign Prime Minister Mutobo to prove their "Loyalty" and maintain Tony's cover in order to get closer to the chief terrorist - Dubaku, who meanwhile causes a mid-air collision killing over 200 people. Renee arrives chasing Tony and Jack, they take her hostage.

    Episode 6: Jack pretends to "execute" Renee and buries her alive, later she is dug free by Bill Buchanan and Chloe Sullivan. Jack then reveals to Minister Mutobo that he is working with the "good guys" (Tony, Bill & Chloe), and talks them into to voluntarily being surrendered to the "bad guys" so they can locate them. The plan works and the attacks are stopped but Dubaku escapes, meanwhile the First Gentleman has been taken hostage.

    Episode 7-8: Jack, Bill and Renee go to the President for help - she eventual agrees with their actions and charges them with finding the First Gentleman and Dubaku - "Whatever It Takes!" Phone records lead them to a currupt Secret Service Agent - Jack tells them to split up and go after both him and his Family. Only by threatening his wife and child are they likely to find the First Gentlemen sayeth Jack. SO THEY DO IT - and naturally, because this is television show, it works. The Agent is killed by Jack (in self-defense of course), the First Gentleman is found but wounded.

    Episode 9-10: Jack and Renee locate Dubuku's girlfriend Marika and Jack talks her into leading them to him using GPS tracking of her cellphone. Dubuku is tipped off and destroys the phone, rather than continue following quietly Jack initiates a high-speed chase that ends in a crash that KILLS Marika and severely injures Dubaku. Jack threatens to deny medical attention to Dubauku and to hunt down his family to get the names of his accomplices - Dubaku passes out before he can give any information, but Jack finds it anyway in a chip hidden just under his skin and has it extracted after pulling his gun on the paramedics!

    Episode 11-12: Tony comes to Jack and says he has a tip of yet another attack, but he doesn't know where only that a Congressional Staffer named Burnett is involved. Jack calls Chloe and has her commit obstruction of justice by deleting Burnett's name from Dubaku's file so that he won't be arrested and call for a lawyer before Jack can get to him. He tracks down Burnett in the White House and uses a taser to torture him, but he doesn't quite crack. Meanwhile Dubaku is killed in the Hospital by men working for his commanding officer Gen. Juma. Renee figures out that his death wasn't acidental, uses surveillance and detective work to find Juma and his commando team who are about to attack - The White House. Jack is arrested, Burnett calls for his lawyer and Juma attacks.

    Episode 13: In the melee of the attack Jack is released by Bill and somehow winds up being the one person who gets the President to the Safe Room. They are eventually lured out by a threat against the first daughter, but manage to set a booby trap. Washington Bureau Chief Larry Moss defies the Vice President and orders a counter attack after Bill Buchanan sets off the trap and is killed in the explosion. The President is saved, Jack is arrested again. Renee goes over Larry Moss's head to the President's Chief of Staff to support Jack's plan to continue the interrogation of Burnett. Moss is overruled and since he believes so deeply in the chain of command - excluding of course the Veep - he immediately suspends Renee, then follows through with Jack's plan. Juma's *OTHER* set of accomplices are tipped-off and manage to get an operative in place to immobilize Jack with a nerve agent and kill Burnett before he can talk - the Third interrupted interrogation of the day - and of course frame Jack for Burnett's death (The same thing that happened with Jack's own brother during an interrogation last season - Jack NEVER Learns!). Jack being Jack, rather than let his blood be screened for toxins and prove his innocence - RUNS FOR IT! WhattaHero!

In short, Renee finds out the same information that Jack's is torturing people to discover by simply doing her job properly - and the truth is if Jack had been Following Her LEAD and backing her up the Attack on the White House would have been prevented - not the other way around. To claim that they haven't done Everything the way Jack's wanted to do it - is just PLAIN NUTS. And because they did it Jack's Way - Agent Vossler is Dead, Dubaku is Dead, Marika is Dead, Burnett is Dead and Bill Buchanan is Dead. It's particularly nutty coming from Renee since her own actions prove Jack Wrong, but then again that's the way guys like Beck and Norris Roll, with thier blather about "red wires", "green wires", "Walker could kick Bauer's ASS in 5 seconds" - yeah, except that Jack would just SHOOT YOU Dumbass. They really do think this crap is real.

But I digress.

Getting back to actual reality, there is a serious point in all this. Beck is apparently sponsoring a big Call to Arms event on March 13th, called "We Surround Them".

It was described on Beck's program this way.

Thousands of cell groups will be united around the country in solidarity over the concerns for our nation. You can host or attend a viewing party by going to Glenn's website. My wife Gena and I will be hosting one from our Texas ranch, in which we've invited many family members, friends and law enforcement to join us. It's our way of saying "We're united, we're tired of the corruption, and we're not going to take it anymore!"

They're tired of the corruption Now? NOW!?

Clearly this is a call out to the Palinites among us. We have members of Congress saying they need to function as an Insurgency - Like the Taliban. Former Presidential Candidates like Alan Keyes have openly sounded the insurrectionist alarm arguing that OBAMA MUST BE STOPPED OR AMERICA IS LOST. We have already had a hard core Right-Wingnut Take Up Arms and commit Acts of Terrorism including Mass Murder in Knoxville, an Attempted Dirty Bomber has been found - this is NO Joke, it's not TV - it's bad enough that the Real FBI is on High Alert.

The FBI monitors and investigates all the white supremacist groups and websites and the guy I know in NY told me that Obama's election has turned into the best recruiting tool they have ever used. Membership is up for the first time in I don't know how long, and new hate websites are emerging every week. Some of the websites actually call for Obama's assassination in their title!

The only solace I can offer is that, typically, these assholes are usually just that: a bunch of bored blowhards, terrified by the pace of a world that is passing them by, who have nothing better to do than complain, blame others for their shitty lives and spew their hatred and pitifully ignorant views online.

So far the danger to the populace from these people and their uber-Patriot "Do Whatever is Neccessary!" ideas are likley to have limited effect only because they are each operating alone and independently. They're just "Lone Gunmen" so to speak, but what is likely to happen when you pile a big ton of pissed-off wingnuts all together all at once and let them simmer on some spicy Liberal Hatred?

What do all these dimbulbs think Jack Bauer would do?

Nothing good will come of this, mark my words.


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