Rock Star : Week 7 Elimination

Finally and at last, the night I've been looking forward to has arrived.

But before I get to that, let's go in order. Tonight the band revealed a new aspect to the show - each week one of the hamsters will be performing a new Supernova song with the band, and first up was Dilana.

I have to admit to reading some spoilers before watching the show, something I normally never do - but did. I was therefore warned about this song, but when I finally saw it my feelings were mixed. It didn't bowl me over, it didn't suck. Not completely. It's got potential, but it needs to be reworked - first of all it basically stays on the same chord and riff all the way through. It doesn't have any harmonic motion. It doesn't have any chord charges or real transitions from section to section -- it just starts and keeps going. A vocalist who has a lot of dynamics and the ability to create different moods and colors in their voice could make it something special, Dilana didn't. I think Magni, Storm and probably Lukas could salvage this song. Possibly even Ryan, but nothing and noone - could salvage the bondage - er - dancing girls.

That was some ridiculous shit.

Look, I know that Motley Crue had their "Girls, Girls, Girls" phase for a awhile. Ok, their entire career. And I know that both they and GnR used backup singers eventually. Lord knows Vince and Axl needed 'em. But the Crue went so far as to have pre-recorded backing vocals.

That crap is for white-trash debutant BS like Britney Spears and neo-homo rough trade like NSuck, not Rock n Roll.

This does not bode well for the future. The question is, will any one of the hamsters have the strength of personality and conviction to tell Stupornova - "Fuck, NO" - when they come up with these cheesy suggestions? (And trust me, I've been in this exact same position - working with some fantastic musicians, but constantly having to scrape velveeta off of everything we did. It's exhuasting.) My feeling is the answer is "No". If so, the result may turn out a lot like Van Halen III where Eddie Van ran everything and poor Gary Cherone (who I actually know indirectly through his family and younger brother Markus) was just onboard to do and sing what he was told. He didn't have the clout to fight back or simply walk away like David Lee and Sammy did when things were starting to get too stupid. Neither do these guys.

Somebody has to have the strength to tell Tommy Lee - ixnay on the cheap ippers-Stay!

Dilana was hotter than all of them anyway. Made them look bad.

Enough about that, on to the elimination.

As Brooke called out the names of those who were included in the bottom three at some point during the night, the list continued to grow. Sure, there were the usual suspects, Zayra, Toby and Patrice. But this time we had a couple surprises - Storm and Magni.

Dave addressed Storm over her interpretation of "I Will Survive" - saying that unlike the version by the band Cake, it lacked "irony." Ok, let me tell you something about Cake - because I had to listen to people rave about that crapass band for years when I lived in Sacramento - and about ironic music. John McCrea of Cake can't fucking sing - ok? He has to make everything seem ironic, because you can't take anything he tries to sing seriously. Ever. Second, a man singing that song is a joke by definition. That is a song about female empowerment, it's about not letting someone belittle you - it's about overcoming emotional abuse. Men don't get that. (Yes, I am a man - but I'm married to a woman whose first husband was an abusive, drugged-out rapist pedophile PRICK! I get it because I've seen and had to deal with the emotional devastation that shithead wrought)

Storm was Dead-ON with her performance of that song. It's about POWER, recognizing that you have it and taking it back. Fuck Irony. Fuck Cake.

Oh, and Fuck Dave.

Storm's response was great too - "I gave it 1000% percent. It may not be my favorite song, but it's somebodies favorite song." Heck, the way she shouted 'YEAH!" when they announced she had been among the bottom three was perfect. Not the whiny "Again?" of Zayra or the "Of course" from Jill - it was "Hell Yeah - Bring it ON - Bitch!"

That alone is why Storm deserves to win - but probably won't.

Let me put it this way, I prefer Storm version of "I Will Survive" to the Cheese and Ham fest they put Dilana through a couple minutes earlier.

Ultimately the first singer to face elimination was Zayra, who again took a chance by doing an obscure song by Blue October. One that actually rocked and was very modern, very different. Her outfit worked - this time. She sounded good - mostly. It was cool - it ROCKED - and was actually tasteful for a change.

Second up Patrice, who re-did "Celebrity Skin" the song that Lukas had fubar-ed with his back to the audience while messing up the lyrics. Patrice not only faced the audience, she ran out into them, around behind them and up onto the Supernova dias. Total showmanship. I still have issues with her over-ennuciation of things. She's like the female Scott Stapp. But it was a great performance, and made Lukey look Stupey.

Last up, was - Magni? What the fuck? Even the CheesyNova boys were floored. But hey man, the public is fickle. Feces happens, then you flush. Magni didn't whine or whimper -he just went up and kicked "Creep" directly in the balls. Now like I said, I read some spoilers - and there was a debate going back and forth about whether Magni's version was better than Lukas.

It's no contest - Magni killed him.

I read a lot of people talk about Lukas being more "emotional". This bullshit is the sad sad legacy of Kurt Cobain. Kurt had an incredibly painful stomach condition, so his looking and sounding "pained" really wasn't always a matter of his being "in the moment" and unleashing the inner angst of the song - he was in fucking pain. Also, Kurt had a tendency to try and sing things that were out of his range, like those Meat Puppets songs from his Unplugged performance. He wasn't really into it, he simply couldn't hit the notes. There's a difference.

Lukas barely got through Creep, he had to cut off some of the notes near the end because he ran out of air. He was better on the encore, but the struggle was obvious. Sometimes it's more interesting to watch people struggle - I get that. Nascar is more interesting if you think there might be a crash. Not knowing what's going to happen creates tension and anticipation. Sure, makes sense. But you have to recognize superior talent and ability when you see and hear it -- and here's something that non-singers won't get -- by laying down as he sang the high notes.... Magni did a windmilling slam-dunk in Lukas's Face.

Laying on your back you have no support. When most people breath and talk, they rely on the weigh of their ribcage to press down on their lungs and push out the air. Technically that's wrong for singing because it creates too weak a flow of air, singers have to also push upward with their diaphram muscle just above their stomach. People who sing without their diaphram can't hold their notes -- they go wobbly, they run out of air and get cut off. (Which is what happened to Lukas when he did this song - and he was standing!) When you lay down you lose the effect of gravity pushing down - you have to do everything with your diaphram muscle alone. Magni not only did it, he did it easily -- he didn't cut off the first part of the major scream the way Lukas did. He wasn't shaky or dodgy on the head-voice section.

Winner - Magni by a TKO.

Now people may disagree about whether they "felt" something from one performance or the other - that's fine. That's a matter of the listener, watchers own inferrences - not the performers actual performance. One is a matter of opinion, the other is a matter of physics.

When Elimination time came - it was obvious. Hell, it's been obvious for weeks now but finally - finally - DING DONG THE Z IS DEAD.

Yes, she's been unpredictable. Sexy. Weird. Fucking strange. But there was no possible way she was ever going to front Supernova. They were simply prolonging the inevitable. Now it's over. I know she gained a ton of fans, and if anyone is likely to salvage a decent solo career out of this - Z probably will.

Heck, if the VelveetaBoys keep going the way they are going --- she'll probably do better than them in the long run.

Vyan