Rock Star Supernova : Week 7 Performance

Ok, that was a big steaming bowl of bogus. But before I get into the nastiness, lets address the pleasantries.

Zayra's song was really good. Really. Honest.

Her outfit was still funky as all get-out with the parachute pantaloons and a bikini top - but her song wasn't bad at all if you're really into the stylings of the invitro love-child of Celine Dion, Bjork and Selena. In 1999 it was Ricky Martin who had his coming out party on the Grammies and launched his english language career into the stratosphere, and I think Zayra just did the near impossible - first she topped Ricky, and second she may have just guaranteed herself a major recording and performing career at the center of the Latin Pop Exploitation II after she finally gets her boney ass kicked off this show.

As usual, her song and performance choice was completely ballsy. This gal doesn't do anything half-way, and always throws caution - not to mention common sense - to the wind. But let;s think rationally for a second, she's auditioning to be a member of a bluesy hard rock band, what part of that picture screams Vegas Pop Diva?

And it seemed like she'd just used a stun-ray from beneath her billowing skirt to dull the minds of the Suave Porn guys - because they seemed like they were under a spell. Only Gilby briefly escaped it by asking the 50,000 Jager shot question - "What part of that performance, had anything to do with us?"

Nothing. But it was sure purtee.

Magni was up second, and did his usual stellar job with David Bowie's "Starman". Knocked it out of the park. Problem is - he was also dull as a doornail - and it might be because he's almost "too good". His vocals are so polished there like plastic, they just slide right off of you. All the character and personality's been beaten out of his voice with a sledgehammer making it very generic sounding. Bowie doing this song would have been very distinctive, and I don't think Bowie's vocal technique it actually as good as Magni's - but in Rock that doesn't matter all that much. This performance just left me cold. He sounded great, and looked great- but Ho hum and Bah Humbug, I wasn't moved. I still have same problem with Magni that I've had for a long time; He's this seasons Mig, a truly great singer - probably the best voice among the men on the show - but does he have the force of personality and mental toughness it's going to take to keep up with Tommy Lee and Jason Newsted? I doubt it. (It's also interesting to note that last weeks reality episode didn't reveal what Magni did with the original song or how the SN boys reacted to it)

His bit about "In the old country - they sing" was excellent though.

Even though she really didn't do that much with the arrangement I really like Patrice's version of "Message in a bottle" much more than Magni's song. She has the some overtraining issues as Magni's, and usually doesn't rise above them but did this time. I especially like how they modified the harmonies and melody lines during chorus - that was cool. I only wish they'd let the song simmer down at that point, dropping most of the instrumenation - especially the strings - and let us just hear the voices. And her outfit with the bicycle shorts was certainly much more "Rock" than Vegas.

Lukas - the J.D. of this season - had his own Seal moment and managed not to crash and burn on it. (Yes, I know this song was written by Nickleback - but they clearly stole their melody from Seal's "Kiss from a Rose". Their song was used on the Spiderman soundtrack, Seal's was from George Clooney's final Batman film. Go ahead, listen to them back-to-back, different words - same song.) Anyway, Lukas did a great job and pretty much killed it - even sitting down. Like Tommy I think the sit down thing is so "Not Rock" - but the Luke-man managed to pull it off. I still think this contest is basically his to lose, after both songwriting challenges everyone else is milse behind him. Plus, unlike Magni and soem fo the others - his voice has TONS of character and personality. He's got one in a million tone - one in a billion, even. The only complaint they have is his tendency to close up his throat, and that can be fixed. Also you have to factor in the intesity of the Lukatics. Looking rather unscientifically at the average number of posts on each singers individual forum on RockBand.com and other sites -- Lukas is waaay ahead of everyone else.

Let's be realistic. Certainly the band is going to make the final choice, but they aren't going to do it without input from management and their label. This contest allows for a label - which I strongly suspect is CBS - to prescreen the appeal of all these performers and to Market Test them thoroughly. By the time this is done, they'll know whose going to sell records and who isn't.

Lukas is going to sell records. Big time.

Checking both the RIAA and allmusic.com, INXS's "Switch" has topped out at #17 on the Billboard Top 200 and "Pretty Vegas" has gone Gold as a single. The fact that the full album hasn't gone gold indicates the record may not have "legs" to sustain sales, but if the band remains out on tour long enough that may change and this record will eventually be certified Gold and then Platinum. The Rock Star show gave them an impressive boost that I don't the final record has really lived up to, but they haven't done badly. Not at all. And I admit that despite the fact I loathe J.D. with the intestify of a - supernova.

All Lukas has to do is avoid doing something really terminally stupid, and he's got the job. His Rooster do comes close - but not close enough.

Ok, now we've arrived at the wrong-zone. I haven't read how any of the other fans are reacting yet, but Storm was Fucking Awesome on "I Will Survive". I could see the SN boys not loving it, but the crowd was not wrong - that was totally killer. She had been struggling with what she was going to do with that song (as shown in the reality segment) and went through several different iterations of arrangements - but what she finally did was All Storm. Completely Storm-ified. Tender and vulnerable one moment, tough and scary the next. That was easily her best and most polished vocal performance - plus it really displayed a lot of the unique character of her voice. She was wise not to try and out gospel Gloria Gayner, she instead took it in an entirely different direction added a touch of Jazz and Lounge Singer (which is also part of her background) and then ending with that acapella great vocal riff. I love what she did with the melody, shifting it around and modified the time - just as she had shown us previously on "We are the Champions" she has a great melodic sense.

She made that song into her own and it was awesome to behold.

Now, I would agree with the assessment that it probably wasn't a Supernova styled performance but let's be honest. NOTHING that was performed tonight was appropriate for Supernova. Nothing. You think Magni Leasure Suit was "Rock"? Not even a little.

Now I'm not one to give in to conspiracy theories - (ok, yes I am) - but I think the reaction by the SN boys was too extreme. I think they're full of male bovine feces. It seemed planned to me. They've never had anything negative to say about any of Storm's performances, and they just may have picked this one -- knowing that she was struggling with it in a way she never had before -- to deliberately slam the crap out of her just to see how she handles it. (If I recall correctly, INXS did the same thing to Mig at one point - essentially panning one of his performances just to see if it created a meltdown and crisis of confidence.) In the real world of rock- you're going to get panned. It's absolutely guaranteed, and don't let a poncy little asshole like Michael Mustow of the Village Voice be the one to do it - he's verbally slice you into cutlets.

You gotta be tough as steel.

But I already know Storm is tough, in fact I doubt this little blip will even phase her and she'll "pass" their little test. And the likelyhood of her going to be bottom 3 over it, is slim and nil. Lukas may be the most popular among posters and likely voters, but Storm is second. This contest is honestly only between the two of them. It's even possible that the extremely uncalled for comments by Supernova will cause a fan revolt of voting for Storm - to which I wouldn't be surprised. Dave and Supernova were the ones "Sauted in Wrong-sauce" this time.

I wasn't much impressed with Toby's performance of "Salsbury Hill". He sang it fine, even handling the odd timing. The bongos were a nice touch, but - Bah, humbug. Lick Magni, it left me cold.

Ryan has really learned to Bring The Drama, and really remains probably the top male contender after Lukas. I wouldn't have said that a couple weeks ago, but he's been hitting it out of the park each and very time. He did about as a good a job with Phil Collin's "In the Air Tonight" as anyone could do - except for Phil. He's really been showing just how powerful his vocals are to good effect - I'm not sure anyone one else, except Dilana or Storm could have done this song justice.

Lastly we had Dilana herself, and although she thinks "she's the one" -- as Zathrus from Babylon 5 would say... she's "not the one.... not the one". She did a good job with "Cats in the Craddle" but I still think the rock version by Ugly Kid Joe ten years ago was better. She did fine, but it wasn't anything special.

Even though she pulled Tommy aside during the Vegas party and made her play, saying "Just send the other seven home" I think she completely missreads just how much she flamed out on the song-writing challenge. She's completely clueless that the band thought her lyrics were "cornball". If there's a challenge that you absolutely have to nail - it's that one, and she blew it. I don't think you come back from that. She's done. It's only a matter of time. Yes, she's a fabulous performer, but if she can't write - she's practically useless to them. And like I said, she's not the most popular person on the show -- not even close.

Vyan