Rock Star: Supernova - Episode 1

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Well, Rock Star is back. I have to admit to having an addiction to this show. I also have to admit to not being completely unbiased about it, since after hearing about the involvement of Tommy Lee, Gilby Clarke and Jason Newsted, I happen to have auditioned for it this year and had a chance to get a good look at all the competition.

With that perspective my very first impression of the Final Fifteen was that they're pretty damn Lilly White. Slim bow-flexed bodies, with the requisit Don Johnson face-stubble and/or goatees on the guys, with two-toned hair coloring and huge (mostly fake) boobs on the girls. They look like that were stamped out by a cookie-doe machine. Ka-chunk. That's number one. Ka-Chunk! That's number two....

(In full disclosure mode: I also have to admit that I myself went to the audition with florencent blue-hair gel, a big goatee - like Dave Navarro's - and wearing black vinyl pants, so to some extent I was knowingly trying to be one of those cookies, except that I'm not... and never will be for various reasons. Still, I had a good idea what they were looking for and it seems I was right.)

The second thing is that I recognized one of them. Storm Large is a great singer, performer and band leader who I first saw on late-night Cable Access in northern California performing with her then band Storm Inc. I've been a fan of hers for years and have three songs from her band in rotation on Truth 2 Power Radio.

For Episode 1, Storm was up first and kicked the shit out of her song, the Who's "Pinball Wizard". Great stage presence, total command of the audience and absolutely perfect vocals. Storm is going to do well in this competition, and judging by what I already know of her songwriting - she's heads and shoulders above the average in that area too.

From watching the overall show, the women vocalist were almost all much better than the men. Storm has a heavy challenge coming from both Dana (From Georgia who did Melissa Etheridge) and Jill (who slammed hard on Janis Joplin) both of whom are powerhouse singers. Tiny Jill is probably the strongest all-around both vocally and again - absolute command of the stage. Dilana is scary. And Jenny just plain fucking sucked on that Nickleback song, the guitar did not cover-up the fact that she couldn't sing the hook.

But the one girl who really screwed the pooch on night one was Zarya - also the one lone non-anglo on the show - who just butchered "Bring me to Life" by Evanescence. If you can't really hit the notes on that song - you shoudn't fucking try. And if you're timing and phrasing is also weak -- again, stop before you begin. I saw a girl at the Hollywood auditions do a much better job on that very same song (But it's now clear she wouldn't have had a chance getting on this show since she was in her late 30's and about 50 lbs heavier than Zarya!! Eye candy obviously counts!)

When it comes to the guys, as far as I was concerned they were all weak, but some were less weak than others. Matt, Magni, and Ryan (Star? How in the hell did we wind up with another "Ryan Star" on a reality show? What the fuck is that about? Hopefully, this one isn't a bitch like the other one) were all boring.

Phil (aka Mr. I could be making $100,000 but I chose to Rawk instead) just completely embarrised himself on "Cult of Personality". Sure, it was an interesting song to do since his voice is nothing like Corey Glovers, but maybe he should reconsider that career choice? I realize he may have been attempting to put his own stamp on it, but he didn't - it was a total crash and burn. The last person to do that song on this show - Ty Taylor - kicked the crap out of it, and wound up being pigeon-holed as the "Black Rocker Guy". Then he became the "Broadway Guy" -- both of which are bullshit stereotypes. Hands down he was the best all around singer and performer of that season, but obviously that doesn't really mean jack in the end. Last years winner J.D. Fucktune made the late-night joke reel with his initial performance - so who knows, Phil might be going nowhere.

The other completely FUBAR'd performance was Chris doing "Roxanne". Uh , I mean trying to do Roxanne, and her telling him she doesn't sink that low. They might as well have just gotten the joke vocal from Eddie Murphy in "48 Hours" on that one. Sheesh.

Rooxxanee... you'd have tuh put on the da red light....

When Gilby told him it "sucked" - I jumped up and cheered, cuz it did - badly.

Josh's white-eyed soul act on the Black Crowes song was very good and unique without being obnoxious. I don't know if it's going to work with this group for that same reasons the Ty had troubles last year. It's dangerous to let yourself be pigeon-holed in a specific style right away, but he sounded real good. We'll see.

The ringer in my opinion is Lukas the Orgy-wannabe. He's definately got a look. He's energenic on stage if somewhat limited. I couldn't really hear his vocals, as with a lot of the singers he was swallowed by the band, and in his case the guitar was crushing him. But he's got something. I don't know if it contagious or whether their's a vaccine for it, but he's got it. He's this years J.D. hands down.

I have to say that they claim that these are the "15 Best Unsigned Rockers" is a load of crap. Some of them are truly oustanding and are definately in the same category as Ty was last year. (Where as none of the other performers except maybe Jordis from the first year really ranked with him after that first show, and only caught up later when issues besides actually singing and performing become more important. Y'know, important stuff like his hair-style!) But some of these people either shouldn't be on stage period, or shouldn't have done the songs they did. In some cases, both. I saw and heard at lot more than 15 people at the Hollywood audition who were better than the bottom seven who managed to slip onto this show by clearly having the "right look" instead of actual talent. The fact the Neal Patrick (of Sunburn) and Brian O'Connor (of Vicious Rumours) who were both at the Hollywood auditions and didn't get to the final fifteen based on vocal talent alone tells me a ton.

Bias for the pin-up people aside, this should be an interesting ride. I plan to stay tuned.

Vyan