Vyan

Thursday, January 15

Jack Bauer Belongs on Tool Academy

There's a new show that premiered this week. It's a show were a bunch of big muscled womanizing lunk heads think they're in competition to become "Mr. Awesome." As it turns out, while they chase the scantily clad girls dangled in front of them, their actual girlfriends are watching every second. They're really on a show called "Tool Academy" and they are the Tools.

After yesterday's revelation that the torture used in Gitmo has ruined the case against the 20th 9-11 hijacker, the real "Tools" appear to be George Bush, Dick Cheney, the entire Right-wing Media and Jack Bauer.

Just watch as they completely spooge over the 24 Season premiere.



In the speech that Billy, Doocy and Rushy find so inspiring Bauer, while being challenged for his treatment of a suspect named Hadib, tightens his jaw and heroically growls the following.


BAUER: When I am activated, when I am brought into a situation, there is a reason and that reason is to complete the objectives of my mission at all costs. [...]

For a combat soldier the difference between success and failure is your ability to adapt to your enemy. The people that I deal with, they don’t care about your rules. ... In answer to your question, am I above the law? No, sir. I am more than willing to be judged by the people you claim to represent. I will let them decide what price I should pay. Now please do not sit there with that smug look on your face and expect me to regret the decisions that I have made because, sir, the truth is I don’t.



OOhh... how masterful.

Most of us who live in the real world know that Jack Bauer is just a character on a tv show - unfortunately some of our governmental leaders over the last 8 years don't seem to know that since they happen to be spouting the exact same ridiculous B.S. as Bauer.

This week Vice President Cheney said when asked about his interrogation program said that ...

"I feel very good about what we did. I think it was the right thing to do,"... it would have been unethical or immoral for us not to" torture detainees


Kinda Baeur-rific, isn't it?

And President Bush? In his final Press Conference he said.


"I'm in the Oval Office and I am told that we have captured Khalid Sheikh Mohammed and the professionals believe he has information necessary to secure the country. So I ask what tools are available for us to find information from him and they gave me a list of tools...

{We }"got legal opinions before any decision was made." Bush insisted that torturing Mohammed produced "good information" that "helped save lives on American soil."


That's Baeur-tastic - except for one little detail - shit didn't happen that way.

The guys in the CIA say they didn't get jack crap from Mohammed after he was tortured.

As for K.S.M. himself, who (as Jane Mayer writes) was waterboarded, reportedly hung for hours on end from his wrists, beaten, and subjected to other agonies for weeks, Bush said he provided “many details of other plots to kill innocent Americans.” K.S.M. was certainly knowledgeable. It would be surprising if he gave up nothing of value. But according to a former senior C.I.A. official, who read all the interrogation reports on K.S.M., “90 percent of it was total fucking bullshit.” A former Pentagon analyst adds: “K.S.M. produced no actionable intelligence. He was trying to tell us how stupid we were.”


Mission Accomplished Khallid.

Ok, so the torture didn't really work with him.. KSM told us what we wanted to hear, just like Curveball who said that Saddam had "Mobile Labs for Chemical Weapons" (Guess what? He didn't) and Abu Zubaydah who supposedly led us to KSM, but uh - actually didn't.

Bush discussed Abu Zubaydah’s treatment in his 2006 announcement. “As his questioning proceeded, it became clear that he had received training on how to resist interrogation. And so the C.I.A. used an alternative set of procedures.... The procedures were tough, and they were safe, and lawful, and necessary.” Soon, Bush went on, Abu Zubaydah “began to provide information on key al-Qaeda operatives, including information that helped us find and capture more of those responsible for the attacks on September 11.” Among them, Bush said, were Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, the alleged 9/11 mastermind, and his fellow conspirator Ramzi Binalshibh. In fact, Binalshibh was not arrested for another six months and K.S.M. not for another year. In K.S.M.’s case, the lead came from an informant motivated by a $25 million reward.


Then there as Ibn-Sheik Al-Libi who told us Saddam was supplying al-Qeada with Chemical weapons training. Guess why he said that?

According to the ABC News report, one other detainee who was waterboarded was Ibn al-Shaykh al-Libi, the director of the Khaldan training camp in Afghanistan, who was captured in November 2001. His current whereabouts are unknown, although there are suspicions that he was finally delivered to the Libyan government. Having slipped off the radar, the government clearly does not want his case revived, not only because it may have to explain what has happened to him, but also because, as a result of the application of "Enhanced Interrogation Techniques," al-Libi claimed that Saddam Hussein had offered to train two al-Qaeda operatives in the use of chemical and biological weapons.

Al-Libi's "confession" led to President Bush declaring, in October 2002, "Iraq has trained al-Qaeda members in bomb making and poisons and gases," and his claims were, notoriously, included in Colin Powell's speech to the UN Security Council on February 5, 2003. The claims were of course, groundless, and were recanted by al-Libi in January 2004, but it took Dan Cloonan, a veteran FBI interrogator, who was resolutely opposed to the use of torture, to explain why they should never have been believed in the first place.


For the last time: the pre-war intelligence that led us into a war with Iraq wasn't "Flawed" - the techniques Bush authorized were.

Just like Bauer - both Bush and Cheney claim that they only did what thy had to do to Save American Lives. One of our chief Special Forces Interrogators from Iraq (the guy who helped hunt down abu Masub al-Zarqawi without torturing anyone) says, That's a crock of Shit.

I learned in Iraq that the No. 1 reason foreign fighters flocked there to fight were the abuses carried out at Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo. Our policy of torture was directly and swiftly recruiting fighters for al-Qaeda in Iraq. ... It’s no exaggeration to say that at least half of our losses and casualties in that country have come at the hands of foreigners who joined the fray because of our program of detainee abuse. The number of U.S. soldiers who have died because of our torture policy will never be definitively known, but it is fair to say that it is close to the number of lives lost on Sept. 11, 2001. How anyone can say that torture keeps Americans safe is beyond me — unless you don’t count American soldiers as Americans.


Bush claims he asked "what tools are available to us" - but the answer he received from John Yoo, Robert Delahunt and Alberto Gonzales in 2002 was - just pretend that the Geneva Conventions don't count and you won't get prosecuted.

Your determination would create a reasonable basis in law that (the War Crimes Act) does not apply which would provide a solid defense to any future prosecution," Gonzales wrote.


If Geneva was off the table (although the SCOTUS later said in Hamdan v Rumsfeld -"The HELL it wasn't!") , then all bets were off right from the start. All tactics they used from that point on - were their choice. It was Bush's choice, and he made the wrong one when he authorized water torture, sleep deprivation, stress positions and hypothermia as interrogation tactics.

Just like the Khmer Rouge, Augusto Pinchet, and the Right-Wing's darling hero Bauer.

Despite his claim that he "has no regrets" Jack - in a very Bushian way - seems to selectively forget just what he's really done, and how much of it went straight to hell.

- In the 2-Hour re-season opener "24:Redemption" Bauer had been ON THE RUN OVERSEAS TO AVOID A CONGRESSIONAL SUBPEONA.

Y'know like a mixture between Mark Rich and Karl Rove.

- The only reason he came back to the U.S. is because some Weaslely State Dept. "Bastard" tricks and blackmails him into complying with the law, by putting a bunch a kids that Bauer is protecting at risk of being butchered by an African dictator. Jack "redeems" himself by angrily giving in to the subpoena only so that the kids can be saved, not because he's made any decision to "face the music".


- But Jack Baeur and CTU have tortured kids before, including the 17-year-old son of a sleeper-cell leader, who himself - as it turned out - was completely innocent and didn't know anything. Nevermind the fact he'd already been granted immunity and was perfectly willing to talk. While they were busy and distracted doing that the bad guys SHOT DOWN AIR FORCE ONE, killed the President and captured the nuclear football. CTU later used the kid and his mother as bait, both were murdered.

Nice work Jack.

- Bauer failed to stop a nuclear suitcase bomb (a device which doesn't exist) from going off ion the outskirts off L.A., near Valencia. Bye Bye Magic Mountain. He later shot and killed one of his best friends in cold blood to protect a terrorist source that might have led them to another suitcase-bomb. He didn't.


- Jack hijacked Marine One and kidnapped President Logan out from from under the Secret Service in order to get him to admit being involved in the plot to kill President Palmer. (Which didn't work, but Logan did admit hiding his knowledge of it on tape later)


- Jack tortured his girlfriends ex-husband, Paul, just because he suspected he might be involved in a terrorist plot - but the man was innocent and didn't know anything at all. Eventually he figured out that the bad guys were using his company without his knowledge, something they could have figured out by just asking. Or getting one of the legal thingee's - whachamacallit - oh yeah, a Warrant! Paul, being a really good sport, eventually took a bullet for Jack and ended up paralyzed.


- Jack broke onto the grounds of the Chinese Consolate - which is an act of War - in order to torture and interrogate the Chinese Ambassador. The Chinese retaliated by kidnapping Bauer (and torturing him, but of course he didn't break), his girlfriend - the same one, Audrey - followed him to China - was captured, tortured and LOST HER MIND. (What was that about "No Regrets" again?) Her Dad, The Secretary of Defense, was a little peaved.


- He tortured his own brother, and his brother managed to resist it and hide the fact that the real bad guy - was their father. (Yes, this show is a rather pathetic soap opera isn't it?) Dear 'ole Dad then killed the brother to shut him up just in case he couldn't resist a second time, and setup Jack to take the blame. Real Great Family values there.

Even on their own damn show Torture Doesn't work at least half the time, now in the current season Jack's tactics are negatively influencing an FBI agent who recruited his help. She's already committed one act of torture - disabling the respirator of a wounded suspect - and Jack wasn't even there.

I'm not saying Jack hasn't had some miraculous successes for your basic FANTASY SUPERHERO WET-DREAM, but Call me "fickle"- he's not exactly a "Hero" in my book. "Mr. Awesome" he is not. Neither is Bush.

"War Criminal" sounds about right, but Lord God King of the Tools will just have to do for now.

Vyan

P.S. Wanna hear a truly great speech about torture? How about Denzel Washington as Agent Hubbard in 1998's The Seige!







PPS: I looks like the real life Agent Hubbard - Is Attorney General Nominee Eric Holder!!

This is a follow-up to my original post and I would have included it if I could, but it was happening in real time as I was posting:

Via Thinkprogress

Sen. John Cornyn (R-TX) could not fathom that an Attorney General would reject a practice that both is unlawful and endangers Americans. He tried to get Holder to back off his anti-torture stance by presenting an absurd “ticking time bomb” hypothetical in which thousands of American lives are at stake. “You would still refuse to condone aggressive interrogation techniques?” Cornyn asked. When Holder replied that waterboarding is not the only interrogation method, Cornyn insisted, “Assume that it was”:



HOLDER: I think your hypothetical assumes a premise that I’m not willing to concede.

CORNYN: I know you don’t like my hypothetical.

HOLDER: No, the hypothetical’s fine; the premise that underlies it I’m not willing to accept, and that is that waterboarding is the only way that I could get that information from those people.

CORNYN: Assume that it was.

HOLDER: [Laughs] Given the knowledge that I have about other techniques and what I’ve heard from retired admirals and generals and FBI agents, there are other ways in a timely fashion that you can get information out of people that is accurate and will produce useable intelligence. And so it’s hard for me to accept or to answer your hypothetical without accepting your premise. And in fact, I don’t think I can do that.


A few minutes later, Sen. Dick Durbin (D-IL) identified where Cornyn most likely thought up his torture-is-the-only-option scenario: “I understand Senator Cornyn’s questions. They are questions that anyone who watches Jack Bauer on ‘24" would ask.


LOL!!!

Vyan

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