Fox Finally Learns 24 isn't Real

From Rawstory, it appears that the Suitcase Nuke is just a myth.

After appearing in numerous film and TV programs and even creeping its way into American political discourse, the suitcase nuke, a nuclear bomb small enough to be easily hidden, is unlikely to exist, according to experts. The revelation left the anchors of the Fox News program Fox & Friends more than a little disappointed.

"You mean '24' isn't true," Co-host Page Kelly inquired, referring to Fox's national security-themed prime time hit, starring Kiefer Sutherland as CIA agent Jack Bauer. "'24's my favorite show."

"It is a little bit of a let down," agreed Greg Kelly.

Others likely to be let down by this most-recent reality check on perceived threats to the United States are politicians and political candidates eager to use force on nations they believe would supply such a device to terrorists. "We don't want the smoking gun to be a mushroom cloud," then-National Security Adviser Condoleezza Rice famously said of Iraq's alleged nuclear program in 2003, also proven not to exist. Though she was not making reference to a specific nuclear device, the suitcase bomb, ever-present in the public mind since 9/11, may have made the idea seem plausible to so many.

The conversation on Fox & Friends then turned to other disappointments, this time at the box office. The group discussed the lackluster ticket sales of Robert Redford's new political thriller, Lions for Lambs, explaining that people "are seeing these kind of [political] talking points from 'Lions for Lambs' done better with Bill O'Reilly and John Gibson and here on this program."

You can read the full Associated Press Report on suitcase nukes at this link.

The following video is from Fox's Fox & Friend's, broadcast on November 11, 2007.

That's right, "24" isn't based on fact, it's fiction.

I actually watched a rerun of "24" this past weekend, and although I enjoyed it's first year, this episode was just completely over the top.

During the course of this one single day (during year 4), one single terrorist group has staged a train derailment, caused dozens of nuclear reactors around the country to meltdown, stolen an F-117 Stealth Fighter and used it to shoot down Air Force One. But wait that's not all - they then managed to get to the wreckage first in order to grab a section from the President's "Football" containing all the nuclear codes for the U.S. arsenal, steal a critical section and use it to find and hijack a transport in order to obtain a warhead.

Big bad CTU has absolutely no leads, until one of the terrorists happens to use the wrong credit card to fill up for gas. They find him at the marine and prepare to close in - he suspects something is up and call the cell leader, Marwan, who orders him to kill his contact and make sure he himself isn't taken.

Just then his contact, an ex-marine named Prado, shoots and kills him as the CTU agents board his boat. He claims self-defense and is taken into custody. It's at this point that the bizarro world this show has been now operating in for 4 years just begins to completely orbit the shark.

During the first year, the main plot was the attempt to kill then Presidential hopefull David Palmer by kidnapping the family of CTU Agent Bauer. Pressure was being applied directly onto Jack to force him off the grid, and to actually work against his own government. CTU didn't even know for sure whose side he was working on, and have the things he was forced to do under the circumstances certainly weren't sactioned. He tried to keep everything a secret and largely handle it himself.

This time is different. As soon as Prado is brought into CTU the tubby corpulent computer nerd Edgar start talking about "That's the guy that they caught at the Marina? I'd sure like to get him alone for five minutes, he'd tell me everything." Why Edgar gone so aggro? One of the victims of the morning nuclear meltdown was his mother. Ya see, the right-wing mantra here is "Lose a relative, Lose your common sense!"

Anything is justified if you've lost some skin in the game personally.

The thing is everybody knows what's going to happen here, this guy is gonna get tortured - period. With what these guys have already done, and their possession of a nuclear warhead - who has time for niceties like the Constitution?

This is where Marwan's next move is almost brilliant. He calls a Lawyer for Prado. Specifically he call "Amnesty Global", which is clearly meant to be Amnesty International, but then the actor and the portrayal of this attorney is shown that he's supposed to be "a sleazy weasle." (The actor used for this role is Evan Hander, who played a weasle hired-gun political consultant on "The West Wing", a weasle comedy writer on "Studio 60" and is now a weasle literally agent on "Californication")

Somehow this lawyer from "Amnesty Global" already has a judges court order in hand as well as U.S. Marshall with him to protect Prado's rights. Since Prado is a U.S. Citizen, he's protected under the law - natural Bill Buchanan the CTU head tries to argue with the judge that elements of the Patriot Act do apply in this case.

What's really appalling here is just how much the writers and producers of "24" don't have the faintest clue about the law. The Patriot Act wouldn't authorize torture of any suspect, let alone a U.S. Citizen. It's not like this would even be the first person tortured that very day.

Earlier Marwan had made a demand to make an exchange for the son of one of his cell members, simply to keep CTU busy focusing on him while his F-117 pilot moved into position. Even though they had already made a deal with the boy and his mother, and although they had already fully cooperated - the boy was tortured. He knew nothing, he told them nothing.

Also earlier that day, Jack had actually tortured his girlfriend's ex-husband simply because they thought he might have a link to Marwan. He didn't, Marwan was using his company but he knew nothing about it. Again, the tortured turned up nothing. Since nobody holds a grudge against Jack even when he does the wrong thing, Audrey's ex actually continued to cooperate and eventually ended up taking a bullet for Jack which left him paralyzed.

At one point Jack pulls Evan Handler's character to the side and argues with him.

Jack: You and I know that your client isn't clean, and that he conspired to steal a U.S. Nuclear Warhead.

Whiny Lawyer: All my client wants is Due Process

Jack: These people are not going to stop attacking us today until millions and millions of Americans and dead. Now I don't want to by-pass the Constitution, but these are extraordinary circumstances.

Whiny Lawyer: The Constitution was born out of extraordinary circumstances. This plays out by the book, not in a back room with a rubber hose.

Jack: I hope you can life with that.

David Addington couldn't have said it better.

Both the boy and Audrey's ex were foreign nationals - but Prado isn't. Torturing him is now suddenly a big deal, and the newly sworn in President Logan is called by CTU to complain about this "meddling" little lawyer and judge.

The idea that they are asking the President to violate a court order, an order from a seperate and equal branch of the government, doesn't slow them down.

"Please let us do our jobs Mr. President" Jack pleads.

But Logan, being a born coward, refuses to make his first act as President the authorization of torture and give the green light, so instead he decides to choose the Romney solution - "Let me consult with the lawyers in the DOJ for 20 mins."

That's not good enough for Jack, who of course decides to take matters in his own hands. He asks Buchanan to fire him and release the prisoner so that anything that happens between them won't sully the prestine white hands of the Government. Never mind the fact that Jack had already been fired by CTU before this year began as was now an employee of the Dod, so Buchanan can't fire him anyway. It's a slick little move -but completely unneccesary because just before he has this little brainstorm Jack figures out that the only way the the attorney could have turned up so fast - at 1am in the morning - is the fact that Marwan called him.

Brilliant deduction. But do they use that information and realize that they've already got the dead suspects cellphone and could simply back-track the last number called to Marwan?

No. Of course not. Why use deduction when thuggery is always available?

Instead Jack ambushes Prado in his car just as the attorney drives away - breaks his fingers - and gets the information. Never mind how Prado's car even got to CTU after he was arrested, let not use any logic what-so-ever here.

Checking the Episode Guide, in the next episode Jack's action leads to the President Logan calling for is arrest. For some reason, they send the Secret Service to do it - even though the proper agency would be the FBI or even LAPD. During the raid to capture Marwan, the Secret Service cars are spotted and he escapes. If Jack had just used the information they already on hand to lead to Marwan's cell phone legally, the raid wouldn't have been ruined. But Noooooo.....

There is no way that even the most sophisticated terrorist organization is going to pull off this many successive attacks all in a single day. Although al Qeada's signature is to implement a series of coordinated attacks, they all tend to be the same attack in different locations all done in the same way with a similar theme. And even then it takes months and years for such coordinated attacks to be planned, facilitated, implemented and paid for.

This SHIT is just completely ridiculous.

But then a flying guy in a Bat outfit is pretty ridiculous also - it's just that we have way too many people taking this type of tossing the Constitution on the bonfire of paranoia fully and completely seriously.

The Commandant of West Point found the disinformation being put out by "24" (and re-enforced by the Bush Administration) to be actually detrimental to his ability to properly train our future military leaders. When they'd try to actually explain the law, they'd keep getting "But what about Jack Bauer?"

U.S. Soldiers in the field have been taking their cues - not from their commanders, not from the UCMJ - but from Jack Bauer

This shouldn't be an issue, but it is.

I doubt busting of the suitcase bomb myth is going to be the crack in dam that finally begins to bring the "24" house of cards down around the ears of it's right-wing executive producer Joel Surnow.

But it's a start.