Thursday, June 28

How Progressives can use Ann Coulter

Ann Coulter has been in the news, hasn't she?

First on Good Morning America the other day she says:

"I've learned my lesson, If I'm gonna say anything about John Edwards in the future, I'll just wish he had been killed in a terrorist assassination plot."

Which I suppose supposed to a smart-assed reference to the ongoing right-wing fantasy about something Bill Maher said concerning various Huffpo comments that were removed supporting the bombing attack on Dick Cheney in Afghanistan. Except that Bill didn't wish Cheney dead - he actually said:

I have zero doubt that if Dick Cheney wasn't in power, people wouldn't be dying needlessly tomorrow.

Yesterday on Hardball she gets a call from Elizabeth Edwards asking her to "Please stop the personal attacks and instead engage the issues..."

To which she does exactly what we'd all expect her to do...

She personally attacks the Edwards campaign and accuses them of using her name to raise money.

And y'know what - she actually has a valid point.

I know Elizabeth was probably sincere when she asked Ann to stop saying things like..

"I wanted to talk about John Edwards, but if I use the word 'faggot' I'll be sent to rehab."

(In reference to the aftermath of Isaiah Washington's comments on the set of Grey's Anatomy)

Or what she said in a 2003 column suggesting that Edwards drove around with a bumper sticker that said.

"Ask me about my son’s death in a horrific car accident."

But the truth is we should be using Coulter every chance we get to help raise money - just as the Edwards Campaign is doing right now - and to raise awareness of just what pond-scum some of these neo-con boot-lickers are.

I know I'm just speaking for myself, but the last thing I want her to do is stop - it's way to much fun to point out how full of shit she is.

Just look at some of the things she said during the confrontation with Elizabeth Edwards.

Coulter: I don't mind you trying to raise money, it's better this than giving $50,000 speeches to the poor - just so you can use my name on the webpages.

Edwards: I'm asking you to stop the personal attacks.

Coutler: How about you stop raising money on your webpages?

Y'see to Ann, hate speech is the same as fundraising. I don't mean a little bit similar - it's exactly the same thing. What she's trying to do with her books and comments, is rally the base. She also happens to think that she's funny.

We all have to realize that Coulter isn't a pundit, she's a fake comedian in the same way that John Stewart and Stephen Colbert really are comedians while being fake newsmen.

The thing is, she's doesn't just rally the base with her comments, she rallies us too.

Coulter: I think we heard all we need to hear. The wife of a presidential candidate is asking me to stop speaking. No.

Matthews: No, she asked you to stop being so negative to people individually.

Coulter: Right, as opposed to bankrupting doctors by giving a schyster Las Vegas routine in front of juries based on science — wait, you said I’d have as long as I would have, then you instantly interrupt me.

M: Go ahead, go ahead.

C: As I was saying, doing these psychic routines in front of illiterate juries to bankrupt doctors who now can’t deliver babies, and to charge a poverty group $50,000 for a speech. Don’t talk to me about how to use language.

M: Elizabeth?

E: ...the language of hate, and I’m going to ask you again to politely stop using personal attacks as part of your dialogue.

C: Okay, I’ll stop writing books.

E: If you can’t write them without them, that is fine.

Y'know what I find truly hilarious about this portion of Ann comments, besides the fact that she's making them just as SiCKO is coming out and sympathy for millionaire doctors who'se incompetence has crippled and killed people is probably nearing an all-time low, is the fact that she attacking trial lawyers and SHE'S A LAWYER!

Her first "claim to fame" was working behind the scenes with the Paula Jones legal team to help set an perjury trap for Bill Clinton. David Brock, now of Media Matters, when he was still a unrepentant right-wing shill for Richard Mellon-Scaif used to call Ann "My Lawyer Friend" back in the days when he used to hang out with Dinesh D'Souza ex-girlfriend Laura Ingraham and Matt Drudge would try to hit on him at West Hollywood gay bars.

Eventually she even got Chris Matthews to finally respond.

Matthews: Why do you call out Hillary’s chubby legs in your book? Why do you — this may fall under the category of personal attacks, I don’t know, but why do you do that? Why do you talk about Monica Lewinsky’s chubbiness? If she were skinny, would it have been okay?

Since this was actually a good question, it only makes sense that Coulter ducked it.

We progressives have a few choices here.

We can attempt to raise the level of discourse as Elizabeth attempted to do.

We can point out that although Glenn Greenwald and Marcy Wheeler are both outselling Coulter, they don't get to go on National TV to promote their books.

We can point out that Ann Coulter is very likely guilty of voter fraud.

We can point out that her comments threatening the life of a Presidential Candidate may have violated the Patriot Act.

We can get mad at the injustice of it all.

We shout and scream at the heaven's in frustration.

We can donate $25, $50 or $100 to the Edwards Campaign in protest of Coulter-geist.

Or we can follow the lead of an actual commedian - Kathy Griffin - who took Ann Coulter apart like a seasoned pro on Bravo last night. (Please note I'm only quoting - all the following smack-down is Kathy's not mine. Address all complaints to, I'm just reporting the comedy - I didn't make it)

I was on GMA the same day as that b*tch Ann Coulter who said that the 9-11 widoes were "harpies" and that their (dead) husbands probably wanted to divorce them anyway.

Y'just know Ann Coulter is the wet-dream of all those creepy old conservative dudes. Like when Rumsfeld is beating off he's thinking...

"Oh, suck it Ann!"

Or Cheney..

"Yeah, tea-bag my sh*t Ann."

Ouch! But wait, she wasn't nearly done.

When you hear somethig like what she said, you literally turn into Scoobie Do.

"Those widows are Harpies"


(Head turns, lifing her hands up like the ears of a dog perking up)

"They just wanted the money, and they're husbands were gonna leave them anyway"


As an American I was offended, but as a Comedian... (Winks).

(To her assistant...)

"Jessica, send her a fruit basket!"

So later, Al Rocher was inviewing me and I said "What's up with that nutbag Ann Coulter? Why's she still rockin' the black mini-cocktail dress at 7 in the morning? What was she banging someone last night and didn't have time to go home and change?

It's like it's 1980 and she's in a Robert Palmer Video.

(Does the qualude addled side to side dance) "...The lights are on... but you're not home..."

So I went over to Matt Lauer and said. "You're not F*cking her are ya?"

And he goes "What?"

"You're not F*cking her are ya?"

And he says "Not after today!"

There, doesn't that make you feel better?

Point being, the last the we should let a shallow bint like Coulter do is get under our skin because as Kathy points out, she's not a joke-ster - she is a joke.


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