Rock Star: Week 10 Elimination

This isn't easy to write - sigh - but here goes.

Last nights elimination show was something special. It saw the departure of an artist who I've found very inspirational for not only their performance ability, but their grace and class under incredible pressure.

The show began with the Rockers showing off a new set of Honda Element SC's which they drove to the studio and rocked on the red carpet. (a) I didn't know they had a red carpet for this show and b) isn't that something you do at a movie premiere not a Rock Show?) Bwak-Bwak then announced that the winner of the encore would be keeping their Honda Element as a prize.

Ok, as if this wasn't already enough of a game show.

Tell 'em what they've WON Johnny....

Come on down -- IT'S A NEW CAR!!!

Feh.

Oh well, I shouldn't be surprised -they did the same thing last year and J.D. got a new place to live our of it (besides Hotel rooms).

Anyway, this time out the encore went to -- as Tommy drummed rolled on the glass desk --- Toby! Making this his third encore I do believe, and a strong sign that the Suave Porn guys truly dig his stuff. He went back out and performed his original song again, which frankly didn't grab me. It sounded like one of those three-name emo punk bands that seem to litter the airways -- y'know -- like Taking Back Sunday, and that's definately not my cuppa. Not that it was bad, his song "Take it Away" hass got that cute little sing-along "Hey hey" chorus and stuff. Evs.

Then we had the next person to perform a Supernova song -- and I was hoping heavily for Storm since only she and Magni hadn't yet performed one. It went to Magni. The song was probably the most likeable and chart worthy SN track yet. It was also dull like dirty dishwater. It just didn't have a great hook or trancendant spark to it, but the performance was good and of course Magni sang it great. Seeing him front the band is about what I expected, technically excellent but rather cold and distant.

Bottom Three time - and as they named off the list of Rockers who'd spent some time in the B3 - everyone eventually stood. (With only 5 left, it's only natural that this would happen) But the first performer up was Storm, who proceeded to do an awesomely beautiful version of Pink Floyd's "Wish you were here." Subtle, understated, yet elegant and moving. I'm sure I saw Jason wipe away a tear and both Dave and Gilby looked choked up.

Dilana was next, her second time in the B3, and proceded to turn Cheap Tricks "Want you to loev me" into a neo-punk howdown. Giminy Christmas, that was not cool. Serously, there is a very fine line between certain high-speed punk grooves and full on shit-kick. She played hop-scotch with that line - on one foot. It was just totally cringe worthy. The audience seemed to dig doing a one-legged two-step/pogo, and the SN boys seemed to like it -- so maybe I'm just weird that I don't think you should mix punk and Hee Haw. Oh, and let me just point out that the lyric of the song - yet again - was just a little bit too on the nose. Apparrently Dilana got the memo that attacking your fans in your songs isn't a good idea when you happen to be rapidly running out of them, so now she's sucking up? Obvious, much?

Last in line - Surprise surprise - it was LUKAS! Geez, there's been many times that Lukas deserved to be in the B3, but I really don't think last night was the time. Still, that's the way it goes and it was also clear - in classic Lukas fashion - that he really didn't have a B3 song prepared so instead simply re-performed his original "Head spin". It was a typical Lukas drunk-man-walking type of performance. I haven't found his attempts to channel the not-quite-dead-yet Mick Jagger all that impressive. Oh sure, the throws a little Iggy Pop in their just to make it fresh, but frankly Weiland is already all over that shit. I don't know, the shine is off the zercon for me at this point. Lukas doesn't grab me. And if he grabs you - I hope you're wearing a cup, because that boy is a S.P.A.Z.

The moment of truth came, and this time it was so tough Tommy couldn't bring himself to drop the TommyHawk, and instead passed it over to Jason. Lukas --- was told to sit down, leaving just Dilana and Storm behind. The only two people left in the competition who'd been in the bottom 3 more than once each.

The TommyHawk fell, and landed on Storm.

Shit.

I knew this was coming from interviews with Storm she'd gotten the signals from Gilby that she was awesome, but might not "the one" for the band. But Jesus, Dilana is? She's a terminal drama queen who couldn't write her way out of wet tissue paper.

Of those left I suppose the best choice is Toby, even though I really have just about had it with the nasal tone in his voice. That's the other thing about him that reminds me of all those little punk-let bands that are around these days--they're full of grown men who sound like twelve-year-olds when they sing. Blech. Hey man, let your balls drop already will ya?

Fortunately I know that Toby has a deep rich lower register, even if he does get a bit pitchy down there -- but at this point none of the remaining hamsters really excites me. SN with Storm would have been really interesting - powerful, distinctive and unique. They would've rock the balls off the world and still been able to pull of magical moments like she did tonight. At least she got to show what she can do, build her fan base and perform "Ladylike" on national tv (even if it was the PMRC version) Dilana and Lukas are cartoon characters, Magni is great - for a cardboard cutout. That leaves Toby.

Jeez, I need a beer.

Thank God there's only one more week left of this... anymore and I'd need a shot of heroin to dull the pain (Hey relax - I keed, I keed! Don't you dare try that a home kiddies.)

Vyan