Rock Star : Finale

Last Show of the Season and it's been a long strange trip - to where we are now. Only Four Rockers left after some truly amazing performances from many of the now departed such as Ryan, Storm, Zayra.

Now the Tommy-hawk falls on either Toby, Lukas, Dilana or Magni. Or not.

Bwak bwak gaves us the bottom two stats, and everyone except Dilana had been in the danger-zone at some point during the night.

Magni is the first rocker to perform for his survival for the last time, where he went up and performed "Fire" - the same elimination song he's used on Week 8. It was practically a mirror image of that previous performance - and you STILL couldn't hear his guitar. Lame move by the producers there. It felt good, but also like he was just repeating himself, and going through the motions. Will it be strong enough to overcome Magni's "Nice guy" deficit?

Toby is the second member of the bottom two and performs White Wedding. It's good, but nothing fantastic above what we've come to expect from Toby. Yet again I'm reminded how nice he sounds in his lower register, something he rarely used all season. He excels up in the stratosphere, which is where he drop-kicks the song on the second verse. Good job, but again - like Magni's performance - nothing we haven't seen before. Good enough?

Yes. The Tommy-hawk, now apparently permanently shifted to Jason -and coming completely out of left field as he's praising Magni - lands and takes him off the show and out of the running right at the finish line. Ouch.

I gotta say Magni took it very well, almost as though he suspected. Maybe he did, I don't know.

Each of the final three rockers then did a song, which I think is a bit cruel - sort of like being asked to dance at your own execution. Toby performed "Somebody Told me", again. Dilana did "Zombie" which goes all the way back to Week 3, so that was refreshing. And Lukas reprised "Bittersweet Symphony" by the Verve which he first performed on Week 3 also. Everybody performed great, but nothing stood out -- I hardly remember these performances, largely because of the memory of their previous versions. It was just a blur.

Then came the final moment of truth.

All three rockers stood up and gave their final pitch as to why they should become the lead singer of Supernova. Dilana - "I'm the one". Lukas - slyly picking up on what they had told Magni on the previous performance show - "I'm ready to Lead You". Toby - "I'm the tallest". (No, I'm kidding he said more than that - but that was his best line.)

The axe fell on Toby, knocking him out of the competition. He also took it great, even if this was like getting one toe over the finish line and having it cut-off.

Final Decision: And it's between the Drama Queen and the Drama Punk.

My original comments from Week one on each.

Dilana is Scary.

The ringer in my opinion is Lukas the Orgy-wannabe. He's definately got a look. He's energenic on stage if somewhat limited. I couldn't really hear his vocals, as with a lot of the singers he was swallowed by the band, and in his case the guitar was crushing him. But he's got something. I don't know if it contagious or whether their's a vaccine for it, but he's got it. He's this years J.D. hands down.

So was I right all along? Well, we had to wait until yet another commercial break as the SN boys continued in extended deliberation - although most of know that they usually take about 25 mins in real life and simply cut around it in post.

After some more commercials for the cars that they'd given out to Toby and Ryan, we finally had the answer. Jason made the statment - "Lukas, you're our guy".

They then proceeded to give Dilana the standard second place consolation package, Gilby offered to co-write and produce her album (which I'm not entirely sure is going to be a real boost to be honest - what's Gilby every written and produced?), they offered her a chance to tour opening for Supernova with the House Band, and Dave said he play some guitar for her record (as he'd said I believe for Deanna last year). Buck-up little soldier, you didn't win but you got this big box of goodies -- don't embarriss us on national tv, ok?

She didn't, Dilana took it like - a woman.

The ride was finally over and Lukas was the last midget (sorry - Little Person) standing. They then went on to perform the Supernova song - finally with the REAL band intact - that Toby had done back on Week 8, "Be Yourself" - which is highly ironic with Lukas singing it. Both in the sense that unlike J.D., he stayed the same person he was from the beginning on stage - except that he learned to be more gracious and charitable off-stage along the way.

I will still state for the record that I've never bought into the "bitch-edit" myth with J.D. They can't make you say something you didn't say, or do something you didn't do -- all they can do is not show what other people did (like the various comments Dilana made to the press, even though she wasn't the only one - she did say them.). He won last year becuase he Dr. Bruno Kirby'd he way through the competition, completely contorting himself into just what INXS told him to become - like a clay puppet. He Survivor'd his way through that show. IMO he's a total complete TOOL. I do think he needed to win more than anyone else, so peace be with him an JinxsD but I'll never spend a single solitary dime on him or them ever - I refuse to endorse the behavior he exibited last year because I've been in too many bands already with people who had the same no-holds-barred stab-any-back personality, and after JD - I'm sure there are many more of them out their using him as an example/excuse for their B.S. Never again. If you like JD, and I know plenty of people do, fine - I don't.

Fortunately Lukas, isn't like that. Although he was confrontational with Dana - he wasn't doing it as a strategy - it was just him, and he learned better long before Dilana figured it out the hard way. Good on him. Even though he was nowhere near my favorite, he's a cute little munchkin, even he has been stealing Orgy make-up tips. Good luck and long live Supernova.

I might even go to a show and post a review of that someday... who knows?

Vyan

Rock Star Supernova : Week 11 Performance

Last performance show of the season with the four finalists, Toby, Dilana, Magni and Lukas.

But surprisingly the first performance came from someone entirely different, Ryan Star, who had been chosen by fans to return to the show - and belted out yet another version of his original song "Back of my car". It was good to see him again, and also to see that he's all smiles since being eliminated. The rumor mill has it that almost as soon as he was eliminated Rock Star Producer Mark Burnett pulled him aside and stated "I believe in what you do", and offered him a record deal on the spot with a live album to be recorded with the House Band.

Ryan's sitting fairly pretty theses days and sounding good. And just to remind us that this is still just an elaborate game show -- he won - A NEW CAR - to get into the back off.

Then the last of the rockers had their turn, each doing another two song set - (one cover, one original) which is cool in that they all had a chance to get their original song out their one more time. Toby started things off with Radiohead's "Karma Police'. I'm not into Radiohead, but it sounded pretty good. Toby's just turned into this performer with boundless energy and enthusiam. When he got to his original "Throw it Away" he had everyone - not just the crowd by the SN boys too - eating out of his hand.

There was much tongue bathing.

Lukas was up next with Coldplay's "Fix You". Yet again, not into Coldplay so I can't really compare this with the original, however Lukas own unique voice always sets his songs apart. It's one of his strongest features. My only complaint is how much he looked a Jaggerized Rooster as he stumbled across the stage shaking his head. He really doesn't seem like a very natural performer, it's not like he's beign himself, like he's doing some demented impression all the time. Sure, it's interesting to watch I guess, mostly because I'm never sure if he's going to stumble and land on his faux hawk. He can't just go up and sing the song like a normal human being, he's always got to do some exravagant shit - like with the eye-makeup, crosses, white belt and the white jacket. Obvious Affectations, all of it. But supernova loved it - probably because he toned it down for the reprise of his original "Headspin", so it really doesn't matter what I think.

Then Dilana took the stage with her complete reworking of the Police's "Roxanne". She'd been warned by band director Paul ("Eeyore") Merkovitch that her version wasn't going to work -- that it was taking things too far. Hey, man - he always says that. Every once in a while he's right on the mark, this time - not so much. Dilana's verion of Roxanned - Killed on contact. You could argue that she was simply redoing it the way she'd already done "Time after Time", until the other three rockers came up during the final chorus and became her back-up band.

She may not be a great songwriter, yet, but this woman understands Drama (even when she's creating it with her own outbursts off stage). If she learns how to create the same kind of slow-burn dramatics in her lyrics instead of immediately cutting to the chase, she's be a dangerous musician. Watch out. It totally whiped all thoughts of "Di-lan-a Di-lan-a" from the last Police song she did - until this very moment, that is.

Then Magni came up and kicked the living shit out of Deep Purple's "Hush". That was pretty bad-ass, my wife - whose been a Deep Purple fan for years told me he sounded better than the original. The guitar dueling was pretty cool, but Jason commented that Magni seemed "more like a member of the band than the leader" - if this was last season, that would be perfect because that's what they wanted, a new member - but these guys want a *Leader*. I think Magni's in trouble on that point.

My only complaint was that you still couldn't hear his guitar in the mix. Supernova's main complaint - well Tommy's - was that Magni's original didn't really leave an impression on him like the original's of the other rockers. I was thinking this might be because the primary hook in the chorus "I know...." starts out on a decending interval. It sounds like it's sliding down a hill and then leveling off into a set of thick grass - then gets stuck. It's should ascending, reaching a peak and then coming back down at the tail. (I'm listening to Storm's "Pinball Wizard" as I write this - and it does exactly what I'm saying "That deaf dumb blind kid - Sure PLAYS A MEAN PinBall." ... this think about that if you don't get what I'm saying. It's songwriting 101. Usually people pickup on it and do it instinctively without breaking it down the way I am... but the main problem with Magni's song is that it goes against instinct, which is sometimes a good thing if you work against the tension that creates and sometimes bad - like this time.

Still, it was one hell of a show. These guys are totally giving it every inch, it's what makes this show unique. It's not velveeta karaoke cheesy (most of the time) like America Idol -- it's got balls. (Ok, well it had balls - Storm's - until last week). But it's something you don't see on television, world class performers who haven't become jaded and bored with what they do -- taking it to Eleven, time and time again.

Tomorrow night is gonna so suck... I can't wait.

Vyan

Rock Star: Week 11 Reality

com

Finale Week Reality Recap

wwwd.eIt's all finally starting to sink in. With Storm gone, we're now down to the final four - Dilana, Lukas, Magni and Toby.

The drama at the mansion was fairly subdued as the hamsters looked at thier future and hosted a surprise guest - Mig from season one. He gave Toby the keys to his brand new Honda Element SC (tm) for winning the encore last week and proceeded to give the remaining rockers the "Big Brother" talk.

"Three of you are not going to win."

So far he's been the first person to point out the hard reality that even getting into the final four isn't a guarantee of musical success. It can help, but you still have to do a ton of hard work. He's been signed the Universal and has an album scheduled for January 2007 - so it's possible to get out there, but it's not going to be the kind of rocket ride that winning will be. Hardly any of them are going to "do well" after they leave the show - shit aint like that.

Lukas, in true Lukatic fashion - tuned out as soon as Mig said "You may not win"... he's only there to be the winner, not to be 2nd or 3rd place. Gee, and everyone else is planning to be a loser? Yeah, right.

After Mig departed the rockers went into the song room and found four portrait photographs of themselves, which brought a sobering moment of reflection. Then they discovered a stack of song -- everyone song that has been performed during this entire season for them to choose from. But included in the stack were four new songs - one of which, Pink Floyd's "Comfortably Numb", both Lukas and Dilana fixated on for a brief showdown until Magni yet again diverted Lukas by playing one of the other new songs "Fix Me" by Coldplay. Ironically Dilana also decided to switch to "Roxanne".

The last two performances won't involve audience voting, it's all up to Supernova now. Even though there are still a couples days left, the Rockers were shown moving out of the mansion, saying a final goodbye. By Wednesday night, Supernova will have a new lead singer and our long international nightmare will finally be over.

I'm not sure I'm rooting for anyone in particular. Storm was my favorite, and my honest opinion on the best sounding fit - from the songwriting clinic - was Josh. I think Dilana would be a bad choice for them for several reasons, and although I like Magni he would be dull. To my mind it's between Lukas and Toby - Emo and Neo-punk.

Let the games finally end.

Rock Star: Week 10 Elimination

This isn't easy to write - sigh - but here goes.

Last nights elimination show was something special. It saw the departure of an artist who I've found very inspirational for not only their performance ability, but their grace and class under incredible pressure.

The show began with the Rockers showing off a new set of Honda Element SC's which they drove to the studio and rocked on the red carpet. (a) I didn't know they had a red carpet for this show and b) isn't that something you do at a movie premiere not a Rock Show?) Bwak-Bwak then announced that the winner of the encore would be keeping their Honda Element as a prize.

Ok, as if this wasn't already enough of a game show.

Tell 'em what they've WON Johnny....

Come on down -- IT'S A NEW CAR!!!

Feh.

Oh well, I shouldn't be surprised -they did the same thing last year and J.D. got a new place to live our of it (besides Hotel rooms).

Anyway, this time out the encore went to -- as Tommy drummed rolled on the glass desk --- Toby! Making this his third encore I do believe, and a strong sign that the Suave Porn guys truly dig his stuff. He went back out and performed his original song again, which frankly didn't grab me. It sounded like one of those three-name emo punk bands that seem to litter the airways -- y'know -- like Taking Back Sunday, and that's definately not my cuppa. Not that it was bad, his song "Take it Away" hass got that cute little sing-along "Hey hey" chorus and stuff. Evs.

Then we had the next person to perform a Supernova song -- and I was hoping heavily for Storm since only she and Magni hadn't yet performed one. It went to Magni. The song was probably the most likeable and chart worthy SN track yet. It was also dull like dirty dishwater. It just didn't have a great hook or trancendant spark to it, but the performance was good and of course Magni sang it great. Seeing him front the band is about what I expected, technically excellent but rather cold and distant.

Bottom Three time - and as they named off the list of Rockers who'd spent some time in the B3 - everyone eventually stood. (With only 5 left, it's only natural that this would happen) But the first performer up was Storm, who proceeded to do an awesomely beautiful version of Pink Floyd's "Wish you were here." Subtle, understated, yet elegant and moving. I'm sure I saw Jason wipe away a tear and both Dave and Gilby looked choked up.

Dilana was next, her second time in the B3, and proceded to turn Cheap Tricks "Want you to loev me" into a neo-punk howdown. Giminy Christmas, that was not cool. Serously, there is a very fine line between certain high-speed punk grooves and full on shit-kick. She played hop-scotch with that line - on one foot. It was just totally cringe worthy. The audience seemed to dig doing a one-legged two-step/pogo, and the SN boys seemed to like it -- so maybe I'm just weird that I don't think you should mix punk and Hee Haw. Oh, and let me just point out that the lyric of the song - yet again - was just a little bit too on the nose. Apparrently Dilana got the memo that attacking your fans in your songs isn't a good idea when you happen to be rapidly running out of them, so now she's sucking up? Obvious, much?

Last in line - Surprise surprise - it was LUKAS! Geez, there's been many times that Lukas deserved to be in the B3, but I really don't think last night was the time. Still, that's the way it goes and it was also clear - in classic Lukas fashion - that he really didn't have a B3 song prepared so instead simply re-performed his original "Head spin". It was a typical Lukas drunk-man-walking type of performance. I haven't found his attempts to channel the not-quite-dead-yet Mick Jagger all that impressive. Oh sure, the throws a little Iggy Pop in their just to make it fresh, but frankly Weiland is already all over that shit. I don't know, the shine is off the zercon for me at this point. Lukas doesn't grab me. And if he grabs you - I hope you're wearing a cup, because that boy is a S.P.A.Z.

The moment of truth came, and this time it was so tough Tommy couldn't bring himself to drop the TommyHawk, and instead passed it over to Jason. Lukas --- was told to sit down, leaving just Dilana and Storm behind. The only two people left in the competition who'd been in the bottom 3 more than once each.

The TommyHawk fell, and landed on Storm.

Shit.

I knew this was coming from interviews with Storm she'd gotten the signals from Gilby that she was awesome, but might not "the one" for the band. But Jesus, Dilana is? She's a terminal drama queen who couldn't write her way out of wet tissue paper.

Of those left I suppose the best choice is Toby, even though I really have just about had it with the nasal tone in his voice. That's the other thing about him that reminds me of all those little punk-let bands that are around these days--they're full of grown men who sound like twelve-year-olds when they sing. Blech. Hey man, let your balls drop already will ya?

Fortunately I know that Toby has a deep rich lower register, even if he does get a bit pitchy down there -- but at this point none of the remaining hamsters really excites me. SN with Storm would have been really interesting - powerful, distinctive and unique. They would've rock the balls off the world and still been able to pull of magical moments like she did tonight. At least she got to show what she can do, build her fan base and perform "Ladylike" on national tv (even if it was the PMRC version) Dilana and Lukas are cartoon characters, Magni is great - for a cardboard cutout. That leaves Toby.

Jeez, I need a beer.

Thank God there's only one more week left of this... anymore and I'd need a shot of heroin to dull the pain (Hey relax - I keed, I keed! Don't you dare try that a home kiddies.)

Vyan

Rock Star: Week 10 Performance

This week the hamster got to run in two habitrails at once - perform a cover song and them follow it up with an original in a "set".

Dilana was up first with the Who's "Behind Blue Eyes" and did a decent job even though she was hampered by a torn calf muscle (something that happened after an ackward jump and landing at rehearsal). I wasn't really impressed, Limp Bizkit did a better job with it. And her choice of the song was just so obvious, she was even whining during her between song banter -- why me? Jesus will you just stop it, ok? Put on your big girl panties and suck it up. You embarrised yourself on national - international television. People will remember it for only another few minutes if you don't keep bringing it up all the time.

Anyway, once the Pity-Party was over - Dilana went to her original and surprisingly it didn't totally suck. It wasn't memorable, and she has to be given some props for trying hard to rock it even while hopping around on one leg. Nice effort, weak song.

Second up was Magni who did a decent job with the Beatles "Back in the U.S.S.R." He's always strong - so professional. This guy is a true talent, and then he broke into his original....WOW that Rocked. Cool riff, nice chorus. Lots of energy. He slammed that one home. But when time came for the review from the Pod-boys, Tommy said that both performances were "the Same. Why is that?" And Magni snapped backed - because "both of the singers were me." Nice come back, but it still displays a basic problem with Magni's performances having a sameness. He really doesn't have a wide repretoir(sp) of stage moves to draw from. He's basically puled from the bottom of the well already, they're aren't really any more depths to pull from. Too bad.

Third was Storm doing "Suffragette City" with guest guitarist Dave Navarro, and she competely rocked it. She has some vocal habits I sometimes don't like on first hearing, but usually on second listen they blend into the overall performance and become irrelevant - and this time she totally rocked it. Then she went to her original and pulled a trick I've often used on stage -- the removing of the jacket or hat to amp up the energy. It's simple, but it works. And man-oh-man her original "Ladylike" was a mother-fucker. It's too bad she had to censor the key lyric "What the Fuck is Ladylike?" - but it worked anyway. The Storm Front has finally arrived and it's coming for your levees.

Bloody shit that was good.

Storm may have gotten signals from Gilby that she won't be the winner, well I just think she sent back a signal of her own - you'll be sorry bitch.

Next was Lukas who emo'd out a whiny version of Bon Jovi's "Living on a Prayer". Yuck. I mean, that song is so many light-years away from his vibe -- and although he did manage to transform it into something modern sounding, it also sounded like feces. I suppose all the little emo-lettes will dig it - I don't. Fuck Emo.

He then went on to do one of his songs from Rise Electric, "Headspin" which I like quite a bit. But this version wasn't as good IMO as what he's recorded with his own band, and his crazy stage antics were just that - crazy. He was like a clown out there - he had the face paint, the Ronald McDonald Shirt - but Homey Don't play Dat.

Meh. Evs.

Toby was up last and I can't remember what his cover was - it'll probably come to me later (The Killers "Mr Brightside" probably blocked it out mentally because I HATE The Killers) - but his original was pretty cool for pop punk. It reminded my wife of Midnight Oil without Peter Garrett. It definately had a hook and he completely brought the crowd into it. As Gilby said "He brought the Fun back to the Rock" and that's been sorely needed for a while. I don't know if it's the direction VelveetaNova wants to go -- but it was cool.

I have no idea who's going tonight, maybe Dilana - maybe Magni - maybe Storm. I doubt it'll be Toby or Lukas.

Vyan

Rock Star: Week 10 Reality

After letting off some steam with a food fight and collective jump in the pool (Naked in Storm's case - sorry no pics), Songwriting Colaboration Day with Gilby arrived, and each of the hamsters have been given a brand new Supernova track to put their own melodies and lyrics to - then work on with Gilby.

The results were somewhat expected and surprising at the same time. The new track is probably one of the coolest and most modern tracks we've heard from Supernova yet. They just might not be stuck somewhere in the late 70's after all.

First up was Storm whom Gilby said lots of respectful things about "She a total professional... she knows how to blend having fun and getting the job done" - but he didn't say much of anything about the song she wrote. It was a lot like going out on a date with someone and then saying "They have a nice personality". Kiss of death time. It's clear they like Storm as a musician and a person, but they are feeling that kind of magnetism it takes to make a permanent relationship work. They're had previous been hints that Gilby didn't feel Storm would be "the One", and this was more along that line. Still, the Suave Porn guys don't always agree on everything so we'll just have to wait.

Gilby's reaction to Magni's song wasn't very encouraging either. Being ESL does make things a challenge for him, but the chemistry just wasn't there. Again, no spark. No fire. No passion. "He's got a nice personality...."

Lukas has been given credit for being the best songwriter, or at least the one with the best feel for Supernova's direction based on the previous song clinic. He also wrote the chorus hook that was used in the team-writing clinic - this time he came in with a verse and a chorus, but that's all and Gilby found it "irritating". He'd just written enough to "get by" and probably figures this is "his competition to lose". Gilby liked what he wrote, and commented that Lukas didn't do the obvious thing with his melodies - but also that his song needed the most work.

Before watching this episode I went back through the video archives to get a better feel for how these people actually write, instead of just the snippets that the producers give us which can greatly skew the reality of the situation, and the fact is the best sounding songs from the last songwriting clinic were by Jill and Josh - both of whom were cut that week.

That song didn't have a lot of harmonic motion and tended to just vamp on a single chord (with one quick change just before the chorus). The reason even the final SN version which was performed by Dilana sounds dull is because the song doesn't go anywhere musically. But both Josh and Jill created movement by singing innovative verse melodies that went against the grain and held back the tension until allowing it to expode in the chorus. In the reality ep that week Tommy made a comment that Jill was "over the top" but the fact is she only hit one full power note during the bridge, the rest of the song was very well balanced. In my own view Josh's voice actually sounded the best on that Supernova track, he'd calmed down all the excess R&Bism and gruffed his voice out to sound a lot like Layne Stayley. It was really cool, and with that sound they would have gone done the path of Velvet Revolver, which isn't a bad place to be. Unfortunately he's gone now.

Patrice's lyrics and melody were also pretty damn good - she sounded a lot like Chrissy Hind on the Supernova track.

Lukas's chorus melody on that song was real simple, but so much so that it was actually dull - it only had three notes, repeated in different order - and then on the chorus his melody and rythm matched the guitar line exactly. Of course it only took him 15 minutes, he had only put words to what Gilby had already written. He was only doing the minimum then, and only the minimum now. It's a bad habit.

The one person that really seemed to get Gilby excited with not just his lyrics but also his melodies was Toby. He seem to be doing things from a fresh perspective and giving Gilby ideas he hadn't thought of - which he really liked. Rather than having to baby-sit and rescue Toby's song, he was largely able to sit back and just enjoy it. It's always nice when someone else has done all the work for you.

And then we had the crash and burner of the day - Dilana. Who'd decided to write a song to bitch out the online fans for voting her into the bottom three. Imaginative? Classy? Not hardly. That was a punk-ass shallow move, and more likely as anything to get her sent back to the B3 again. Gilby thought it was cliched, and that's probably putting it mildly. It's hackneyed. Dilana simply isn't a songwriter, in her confessional she admitted she didn't know that writting would be such a big part of this deal. (Obviously she didn't watch last season, all of these song-writing clinics they're going through this team are being repeated from then.) Gilby, "If you're not bringing anything, what do I need you for?"

Ouch.

Oh, how the mighty Dilana has fallen.

After this came song selection and immediately Dilana and Lukas began to look horns over "Behind Blue Eyes" by the Who. Dilana wanted it because the lyrics spoke to her and how she feels at this point - (no longer the "Psycho Killer, eh?") - which again is obvious and basically cliched. Why don't you flog yourself with a riding crop on stage while you're at it? Sheesh. Self-absorbed much? Eventually Magni jumped in to break things up and trick Lukas into doing Bon Jovi's "Living on a Prayer" by appealing to his ego -- "You're the only one who can do it dude..." I'm not sure if that was a good thing for Dilana or simply doing what he could to dodge the bullet from the obvious bare-trap song - like "I Will Survive" was for Storm.

The week is also the first "set" week where the performers will do a two-song set - including one cover and one original. Storm is obviously going to be doing one her strongest songs - "Lady Like" which from what I can tell is going to give the network censors hot flashes with a chorus that asks 'What the Fuck is Lady Like?" In a lot of ways Storm has been surpressing her most balls-out tendencies by taking the bare-trap songs time and time again. Yeah, ok she can sing anything -but has she really shown Supernova who she really is - and what she's capable of? I've found that I like her performances better the second time I watch or listen -- but has Supernova already written her off, or while they find something entirely new - while Toby has clearly jumped out far ahead as the front-runner not only with the fans but quite possibly with Supernova themselves.

Dilana in yet another possible bone-headed move fought had for "Behind Blue Eyes", but she's never really heard the song -- not even the Limp Bizkit version - so Miss-can't-write-a-song has decided to modify the arrangement. Oh Lordy - Train wreck on deck.

Tuesday's performance show should be extremely interesting even without Zayra and Ryan's theatrics.

My guess at point for the final three - Storm, Lukas and Toby with Toby probably winning.

Vyan

Rock Star : Week 9 Elimination

Another elimination show, another fallen soldier. Still this show was just chock full of surprises, twists and turns.

The new Supernovacaine song "Shine On" was debuted, with the Lukatic himself on lead vocals - and it wasn't bad. Lukas's voice sounds pretty good with them, and it helps quite a bit that you can't understand his words considering how creamy and cheesy they were. (Unfortunately I sometimes watch the show with closed caption on - oh yeah - pure velveeta) Lukas has a massave advantage and disadvantage at the same time, his voice is such a huge affectation that he's immediaetly recognizable. That's good, because it will make any band he's in identifiable - just like David Draiman and Disturbed. You know it's them as soon as you hear him clear his throat. The value of that on the radio can not be underestimated. The disadvantage ... is the limitations and reedy sound of Lukas's voice. Man -- he's going to tear that shit up pretty soon if he doesn't get a permanent vocal coach. With Supernova he could afford one, and he needs it - badly.

The encore song went to Toby and "Rebel Yell", which mostly tells me that he's either a bigger front runner than had I had previously suspected, or he's on his way out the door. Only Magni and Ryan had received two encore nods so far. (Yes, Dilana and Lukas have only had one each.) I have to say that both Dilana and Ryan's performances from last night were more impressive. Storm's too, but I wouldn't want to put her through that again. Still Toby managed to step it up yet another notch by going all the way to back of the studio to rock the people in the cheap seats. (I didn't know they HAD people in cheap seats at the back... now I do). He's a total showman.

Then came elimination time, and after the first three rockers stood (Storm, Ryan and Toby) - the names of those who had been just kept coming until only one soldier was left not standing - Magni. (WHAT!?) Yeah, I thought it was weird too. For the first time both Dilana and Lukas had to stand - but Magni, whose already done two B3 performances didn't. Talk about being saved. The only other people with any B3 performances still on the show were Ryan and Toby (one each) - and as I said both of them also have two encores. So what gives?

All I can say is the public is fucking fickle.

Tommy: "They're having one hell of a party in Iceland right now!" - No Shit!

Anyway, the first performance went to Ryan who did a great job on Baba O'Reilly. His vocal tone actually sounds a lot like Roger Daultry's so it was kinda cool and extremely different from Dana's version earlier in the season. Knowing Ryan of course, he had to take it up yet another notch, and not having any pianos to molest and hump he proceeded to climb Rafeal's speaker stacks.

Now if you haven't handled guitar amps and stacked them - you probably don't know how delicately balanced they are - but that shit was fucking dangerous. As a singer I've done the speaking climbing thing, but I climbed the mains (like Sebastian Bach did on Vh-1's Supergroup - and he almost busted his ass) - I wouldn't think of climbing someone Marshall's unless there were braced or I had a death wish. I was a gymnast in school - I know how to easily handle a fall from 10-12 feet in the air. No problem. Falling doesn't bug me, what bugs me is that because the amps are stacked - you can't predict which way they might fall. They could go both directions at once - one forward and one backward - in which case your going to land on one of them and all bets are off the table.

There's such a thin line between incredibly brave and licking the tailpipe stupid - Ryan damn near crossed it with that move.

Storm was next, and boy was she excited. "Anytime I get to Rock with the House Band!!" and proceeded to kick the crap out of "Helter Skelter." I gotta say she took that performance too the next level and then some, touring the entire room in the process and laying back into the crowd at the end. She could've done this song weeks ago if she'd fought for it. This is what happens when you don't battle for the song you really want - you get stuck with dross and bullcrap like "I Will Survive" and have to suffer from having taking a lousy song. She's been letting herself get punked through this entire show -- yes, sure she can sing anything. But that's been putting her 10 and 15 feet behind the starting line while everyone else is right on it. The amazing thing is that she's been catching up to them all this time. If she'd begun in the same place from the start, and gone for the better songs all alone - she'd be miles and miles ahead.

Last up, surprise after surprise, was Dilana. Well technically I shouldn't be surprised - I predicted this. The Resurrection of the Di-lan-a apparently didn't take. Her behavior really has cut into her fanbase severely. She's no longer the favored child. The Bus has arrived and Dilana is under it. Still she still has lots of credit with Stupernova, because her performance of the Talking Heads "Psycho Killer" was a complete and total train wreck. It was embarrising to watch and displayed her greatest weakness - cluelessness. It's like watching the guy come out of the bathroom with a long trail of toiletpaper sticking out of his pants - and he's completely oblivious. That's Dilana. She has no idea. She didn't know how cheesy her lyrics were for the first songwriting clinic - she didn't know that dancing girls on stage with her would look ridiculous, and she didn't know that she is NOT David Byrne. She was the Psycho Killer - the Psycho Killer of that song.

Oh poor Di-lan-a...Di-lan-a....

Your time is coming soon, but unfortunately it wasn't tonight. Since both Storm and Dilana had never been in the B3 before, but Ryan had - it made sense to let Ryan go. But it was still a major shock, he's done so damn well in this competition and shown so many sides. Just about every performance was unique, memorable and special. The energy he brought to the stage affected everyones performance - I honestly think he made all the rest of them a little bit better, especially Toby. They owe him a debt.

DARK HORSE DOWN!

It was a bummer to see him go, just as it was for Patrice to leave last week - but it has to happen. They ultimately have to get down to just one. Exactly who that's going to be I haven't a clue - I'm still holding out hope that Storm pulls it off, but I'd be fine with Toby or Lukas. Magni could do it, but probably won't. The only one I'm rooting against at this point - is Dilana. She'd be a disaster for this band, they'd just totally crash and burn in 80's hell. I've been to 80's hell - it's not a nice place. Being there, or just being in a band that was accused of being "too 80's" made me not a nice person. It pissed me off. I don't wish that on anyone, and with Dilana that's exactly where they're headed. Heaven help them all if that happens.

Vyan

Rock Star : Week 9 Performance

Well, that was something.

I don't think I've ever seen a more energetic job of reputation resurrection in my entire life. My hat's off to the Mark Burnette Editing team who managed to defribulate Dilana back into this show. As I predicted, they did show the entire incident of her near final flip-out at the mansion including the champion wine-glass toss which ricocheted back and hit Magni, then showed her remorseful "I'm sorry, Magni" even if it was done via subtitles. His lack of any bandage and saying "It was just a flesh wound" pretty much sealed the deal, and magically turned Dilana into the sympathetic character of this little psycho-drama.

Well done, I say - well done.

Problem solved, nobody mind that big lump under the carpet - nothing to see here -move along now, move along.

And so we shall, to the actual performances.

First up was Lukas with "Lithium." Meh. Evs.

Ok, then there was Magni - sans bandage - on "I Alone". This song is just deep in his comfort zone, but I actually wasn't much impressed with his performance. Probably because he sounded so good and had such resonance on his acoustic version of the other Live song "Dolphin's Cry" , since then I've found his full band performances lacking. I can't put my finger on it. He sang it great, commanded the stage well, but didn't impress me because that's already what I expect from him. He went up to the SN pod which was cool, except that Jill and Dilana and Patrice have all previously done that also. It's getting tougher to push back the envelope.

And then Ryan comes on and rips the envelope open with his teeth. Ok, like Wow. This guy is a showman. With some people climbing up on the piano could seem corny. Billy Joel does it. Jerry Lee Lewis has been kicking back the piano bench for decades -but somehow he made this work and seem fresh. I do agree with Jason, once he's away from his instrument - either piano or guitar - he "loses the plot". Actually he loses the beat and stumbles around without ever doing anything in time to the music. But this time I really didn't mind that much. The one cool and subtle thing he did was loop the microphone around his neck just before he did the Starsky & Hutch slide back over the piano. That was thinking ahead, because he knew he didn't have time to put it back in the mic stand - he was going to have both hands busy playing and he had to keep it with him to sing the last section of the song. Bonus points for that one dude. Nice job.

Ok I thought Storm doing "Bring me to Life" was going to be a big problem. I was right, it's out of her normal range but she pulled it off. Except for one note at the very begining ("How can you see through open doors") which was tragically flat, she pretty much nailed it. My only technical complainst would be that it was obvious she was struggling, she seemed breathy, her tone was compromised and she was a bit behind the beat on everything - but it really didn't matter. It was a fight, but she got there - and then went far past it with the falsetto high note at the very end. Kudos.

I would however say that battling with the song caused her to fall back on a set of stock stage moves, like the little spread-eagle hop shes been doing since the first note of Pinball Wizard on Day one, kneeling and laying back at the end of the runway, stalking the stage with her twisted walk. Stuff like that. This might be why Dave said that Toby, who was singing backup, may have upstaged her a bit, and he might have - what he had to do vocally was pretty easy by comparison so he could be more dynamic on stage. But still - Storm is Storm and nobody totally takes the stage away from her. My big problem was that some of the backing harmony vocals were off, and it made the Storms vocals and performance seem weaker than they actually were. At first I thought it was Toby, but on rewatching he wasn't singing at that point. It was someone else in the House Band whose singing was off, which is a real surprise.

I wouldn't be surprised if she goes to the bottom three this time, but she'll also probably do some serious defribulation of her own once she gets the chance. She might even do an original, if she's allowed to.

Toby doing "Rebel Yel"l was much better than I expected. In an opposite move to Storm's, he showed a low range I didn't know that he had. I forget which song it was on, but when I'd heard him sing low previously he seemed really shaky - this time is was strong and clear, plus unlike Lukas version - you could understand what he was saying. And then he goes and brings up girls from the audience to dance with him - way cooler than Dilana and the stripper chicks because a) It was spontaneous b) They were honestly fans, and didn't have to go through the casting couch to get there and c) it was cool. As I've said, this contest hasn't been about singing for quite some time, it's about showmanship and so far Ryan and Toby have been stepping it up big time.

Last up was Di-lan-a... Di-lan-a...

Ok, first of all - I hate when people who can't really play guitar - pick up a guitar and pretend to play it. Now, I'm not saying she literally wasn't playing -- she was -- I'm saying her playing sucked. At the beginning of "Mother Mother" she sings the main verse line gently while strumming the guitar once on the downbeat of each measure while sliding her left hand chromatically down the neck from an A-sus to Gb-Sus chord. On measure five she was supposed to go back to the A-sus and she totally blew it. I'm not sure if she didn't get her hand in position correctly, or simply missed the strings while stumming - but it was not good at all. Then with the next chord she hesitated and was way behind the beat - so that sounded fucked up too.

Look, if you're going to strap on a guitar and play it - then fucking play it. It's not a necklace. It's not part of your wardrobe. If you can't hit a A-sus chord properly... let someone who can do it. Jesus.

Imagine if Ryan went over to the piano and fucked up the chords twice in a row. Would anyone think he should be allowed near the thing again until he got his shit together?

I don't think so.

Anyway, she sang the song fine - but oldly not as well as she did during the footage from the reality episode. She's capable of some real tenderness in her voice and that was totally lost once she kicked things into high gear. Fortunately for her, her gears go to Seven. I thought her performance was really good, I personally like Jill's better but since Jill's gone that's a moot point. She did good, and for once didn't repeat herself.

At the end of the show we had Storm - I think Toby - and Lukas in the bottom three for voting. But let's stop kidding ourselves, at this point half and then more than half of the contestants are going into the bottom three. Only Dilana hasn't even had to stand up yet, but her time is coming soon. The voting really doesn't matter anymore for anyone except Magni who would be hitting his third strike if he goes back again today. For everyone else, it's really just a matter of how Supernova feels, not us.

Vyan

Rock Star : Week 9 Reality

Well, Dilana's gone Meshuggah.

The pressure of the elimination show was too much for her and she had a little flip out moment. Nearly breaking down at the lunch table with the other rockers, going out alone by the pool the stomping off in frustration and tossing a glass - which happened to ricochet and cut Magni's head.

Talk about Drama Queen.

I for one don't believe this was done for the benefit of the camera's, and explains why there has been discussion that the hamsters received a visit from one of the executive producers before Dilana bolted. It was a little uncomfortable to watch, but it was real, and I don't really blame Dilana for how she felt or for expressing her feelings. My only problem with it is that it was totally and competely selfish.

Baring editing manipulations, there wasn't one second that she really seemed to be concerned about the impact of her words and actions on anyone else. She was clearly only worried that she might have blown her chance with Supernova, period. Sure, both Ryan and Lukas said it really didn't bother them -- but I notice that it was both Ryan and Lukas who were talking about her "Not being able to handle the pressure of being on the road" if she couldn't handle things on the show.

Let's put things in perspective. She was embarrised on National Television in front of MILLIONS of people. Messing up at a single show is no comparison. The pressure of a full-on tour is actually nothing like being trapped in that house for 3 months with Cameras on you 24/7, broadcasting your every bad hair day and temper tantrum. The real question is whether she's really learned something with this experience or not, and at the moment I'm doubtful. She was completely oblivious to what happened to Magni and although they may not have shown it - seemed completely uncaring afterwards. Again, selfish and petulant. That's not good.

Now, some might argue that being selfish and petulant is sometimes a major part of being a front person. Axl Rose is selfish and petulant. Trashing hotel rooms - or anything and anyone in your way - when the pressure gets to you is a Rock Tradition. (See - Tommy Lee and the Paparazzi or Sebastian Bach and the thrown bottle, and the "Aids Kills Fags Dead" T-shirt). Rockers will fuck up.

This probably isn't a fatal blow for her, unless she let's it become one.

The week's extra curricular activity was a photo shoot. Storm -whose done modelling work before - took to it like a natural. Toby adapted quickly. Magni had issues with it, and just couldn't seem to get it together. And Lukas... frankly I can't believe Lukas has never done a photo shoot, even the smallest seedy bar band needs to put together a band photo and bio to get gigs. I don't buy that "never done this" stuff for a second. Sure, doing it with an actual professional photographer is a bit different, a bit staged and sometimes silly - but it's part of the business. I've done band photos and personal head shots for acting, modelling (a long time ago - don't ask - EVER!) and I know it can be uncomfortable but you simply have to BRING IT, just like being on stage.

This being fan song selection week, there wasn't any drama involving the song scramble - except for the fact the fans asked Storm to sing "Bring me to Life" and that tune is a Mother-FUCKER! People may not realize it, but it's harder than Aerosmith. Both Z and Jill had previously done and both of them had fucked it up, although Jill - who was probably the best overall singer in this competition - was much better she still had some major problems with it). Can Storm pull it off? Will Dilana have another melt down? What color will Lukas eye shadow be next time?

Stay tuned Tuesday Night Rock Fans - Same SuavePorn Time - Same SuavePorn Channel.

Vyan

Update: It occurs to me what we may have just seen just might lead to Dilana receiving the Ty Taylor Treatment, and my opinion on this has modified.

Look at the facts : She was a front runner essentially from the very first show as was he and both have become overconfident from that point on. She has since shown a tendency for the cornball during the original song clinics (ie. "Stop/Go"). Neither saw the problems coming and after riding high for quite a while, both hit a brick wall - in Ty's case it was "Everlong", with Dilana it's been her flapping lips - and both proceeded to have a meltdown. Ty crumbled under pressure that was somewhat of his own making (even though the fact is he was 100% correct when it comes to race and rock) and Dilana has turned to a jelly puddle for similar reasons. Even though it may in fact be true that what both of them said is essentially correct - Magni really does love his family and you really can't find more than a handful of success black artists in rock - simply saying these things out loud may have sealed their fate.

There are some things that may be absolutely true, but how and when you say them can be far more important than the technical truth.

It all depends on how Mark Burnett handles the situation on Tuesday. Last year the Reality Episodes where fairly high profile while being broadcast on VH1, but this year it's possible for events on the Webisodes to slip under the radar for most of the audience - unless they replay the events during either the performance or elimination episodes. If they completely gloss over the glass throwing tantrum, Dilana might pull out of this ok - she might not win, but she won't get immediately flushed as Ty was.

On the other hand if they don't skip from Dilana leaving the dining room on the edge of tears to her pulling herself together for the Insight photoshoot, it could go rather badly. She would not only loose the support of the band - she'd be sure to lose the fans just as Ty did when he supposedly played the "race card."

From that point on, she'll be in the bottom three no matter what kind of performance she does. After two, maybe three times - she'll be gone and that will be that.

Either way, Dilana's chances with the band are probably in the toilet.

The only other possibility is that if there's a scene we don't yet know about where she and Magni resolve the issue and come out in the pod in solidarity. Without blame. Without recriminations. Without too obvious a bandage on his head.

Also, Something I've hardly seen anyone mention is the spanking that Phil received after blabbing to the press that he wasn't that much into Supernova's song. Tommy told him...

To say that stuff prematurely in the press - and this is a lesson for all you guys (pointing at the pod) - are you guys listening? What you say, people read, and people take to the heart. Just a warning, be very very careful of what you say.

That was during Week 4, over a month ago and since it wasn't broadcast on the air it made Phil's elimination seem quite strange. The point is they were all warned five weeks ago and Dilana still did what she did with the press. I doubt the band is really as ready to let this blood wash under the bridge as they appear to be. She's basically toast, but if she loses the fans - she's microwaved toast.

Rock Star: Week 8 Elimination

Well this show wasn't much of a surprise on stage, but things in the Rocker pod certainly grew interesting.

Ryan and Dilana pretty much had it out - and I have to say that Ryan won easily. While he may have seemed a bit like a weasle when it came to calling out Dana in previous weeks, even calling Patrice a "Bitch" at one point - he was dead-on when it came to Dilana and her back-stabbing bullshit. She's clearly grown a huge ego in the last few weeks, we could tell when she tried to button-hole Tommy in Vegas "Just cut the other 7 and give me the job". And some of the shit she said to Ryan was just ridiculous - "You would have been nothing without the House Band last night" - because he had practically cracked the whip on those boys during rehearsals to get the song exactly where he wanted it. They were crying "Uncle", and then she gives *them* all the credit? What the fuck kinda shit is that?

To his credit, Ryan was gracious. But what he said was absolutely true, that Dilana may have been nice when she was in front of the SN boys -she certainly hadn't been in the house. And her mock reaction shots of feigned surprise and annoyance at what he was saying were just priceless - especially when the subject came up a second time in reference to all the crap she dished during the press clinics.

Turnabout is fairplay Dilana, and this time it was gorgeous behold. Gotta say I loved Magni's SNAP - "You're just doing the same thing, over and over again - we're evolving". BULLSEYE! Lukas in response to the comments made to Jamie of Star 98.7 was also incredibly gracious, he's certainly learned to "rise above it".

Not that any of us in blogistopia have to - what's up the with Demented Princess Leia hair buns anyway, Dilana? Jesus, Fashion Tragedy Much?

Clearly Dilana has her fans and they're going to support her no matter what. We've long passed the point where individual performances really matter at all - if someone has gained a huge fan base, they are protected no matter what stupid asshole behavior they manifest - if they haven't they're basically screwed, and don't let them show a kink in their armor and they're done! Buh Bye.

For tonight's special Supernova debut song - Toby got the nod. The song was better than last weeks, and Toby did a good job - but the song actually showed some of the weeknesses in his voice and tone. It's just grating, plus he doesn't have much control in the lower ranges. Weak and pitchy down there. His stage presence pretty much made up for that, and his again displayed something that Ryan doesn't seem to have - coordination. Just about every move was in time to the song, not that he was literally dancing like Dilana was last week (doing the MJ kick and all) but he ROCKED. It was cool, but I still like Patrice and Ryan's original songs better than what I've heard of Supernova's material. Which is a bad sign for them, but a great thing for Patrice and Ryan.

This time we had four rockers in danger - Patrice, Toby, Magni and Storm. Now look, there was nothing wrong with either Magni or Storms performance yesterday -but somebody has to be in the bottom and someone doesn't. In this case Dilana, Ryan and Lukas weren't - so it's safe to say that they are the front runners. According to the Wikipedia Supernova page - Ryan also also tied with Magni with the most number of encores so far (two). Of the top three only Ryan has actually been in the bottom 3 (Week 6), while Storm, Lukas and Dilana have never performed an elimination song - yet.

Magni was up first and performed "Fire" by Jimi Hendrix - which is a favorite of mine. He did a good job, he's a much better vocalists than Jimi was - so that partwasn't a challenge. The challenge is performing while wearing a guitar at the level that Jimi used to - and Magni wasn't quite up to that. He just happened to have picked the one Hendrix song that has the shortest and simplist guitar solo -- and he actually played it in tandem with Rafeal. (HELL, Yes) I'd been waiting for all these pretenders to actually play something beside strumming pussified barre chords for this entire show and finally - finally - somebody got up there and actually played some real guitar.

Too bad no one could hear him.

Magni's guitar simply wasn't in the mix. In fact, I'd bet that none of the rockers guitars have actually been in the mix during the entire show so far. I certainly haven't actually heard them, and since they've only been playing chords that are simple and identical to what the other two guitarists are doing - you can't really tell. It's an old trick I've seen used before -- put the guy whose skills you don't entirely trust in the monitors so he can hear them and think he's rocking out, but not in the house mix. Works almost every time. Damnit, if I were Magni and I was going to do a song like this one, I'd either let Rafael do all of leads or else tell him to sit the fuck down - I'll do it - all of it. That was some bullshit right there. If the man can play - let him play - if he can't don't jerk his chain. Either way - he killed it as usual and went immediately back to the pod.

Patrice was next, and did her usual thing - which is to over enunciate every damn syllable. I don't know what her problem is, it's just like Zarya's accent - only this isn't her Texas drawl coming out in the song. I didn't happen last week when she did her original, but when she does cover song - BAM - there it is again. Annoying as hell. Plus it pretty much ruined a great Pretenders song - "Middle of the Road". She didn't even catch the "purrrr meow.." part just before the harmonica solo. Feh.

Lastly was Toby - Storm again got a pass, and boy did she look disappointed and annoyed - Toby got up and performed Plush. Again, great stage presence - even letting Magni sing a chorus with him - but a reedy voice that simply doesn't have anywhere near the richness of Scott Weiland. And that's a bad comparison since the direction that Supernova really needs to go - is that of Velvet Revolver. Old school with some modern hip twists. I'm not sure they realize that yet, but either way - Toby aint their guy.

In the end the hamster released from the cage was Patrice after four appearances in the bottom 3 - no big surprise. She's done extremely well to have survived so far and was clearly the weakest of the remaining performeers but somebody has to go and now was her turn.

After this, it's going to get nasty.

Vyan

Rock Star : Week 7 Elimination

Finally and at last, the night I've been looking forward to has arrived.

But before I get to that, let's go in order. Tonight the band revealed a new aspect to the show - each week one of the hamsters will be performing a new Supernova song with the band, and first up was Dilana.

I have to admit to reading some spoilers before watching the show, something I normally never do - but did. I was therefore warned about this song, but when I finally saw it my feelings were mixed. It didn't bowl me over, it didn't suck. Not completely. It's got potential, but it needs to be reworked - first of all it basically stays on the same chord and riff all the way through. It doesn't have any harmonic motion. It doesn't have any chord charges or real transitions from section to section -- it just starts and keeps going. A vocalist who has a lot of dynamics and the ability to create different moods and colors in their voice could make it something special, Dilana didn't. I think Magni, Storm and probably Lukas could salvage this song. Possibly even Ryan, but nothing and noone - could salvage the bondage - er - dancing girls.

That was some ridiculous shit.

Look, I know that Motley Crue had their "Girls, Girls, Girls" phase for a awhile. Ok, their entire career. And I know that both they and GnR used backup singers eventually. Lord knows Vince and Axl needed 'em. But the Crue went so far as to have pre-recorded backing vocals.

That crap is for white-trash debutant BS like Britney Spears and neo-homo rough trade like NSuck, not Rock n Roll.

This does not bode well for the future. The question is, will any one of the hamsters have the strength of personality and conviction to tell Stupornova - "Fuck, NO" - when they come up with these cheesy suggestions? (And trust me, I've been in this exact same position - working with some fantastic musicians, but constantly having to scrape velveeta off of everything we did. It's exhuasting.) My feeling is the answer is "No". If so, the result may turn out a lot like Van Halen III where Eddie Van ran everything and poor Gary Cherone (who I actually know indirectly through his family and younger brother Markus) was just onboard to do and sing what he was told. He didn't have the clout to fight back or simply walk away like David Lee and Sammy did when things were starting to get too stupid. Neither do these guys.

Somebody has to have the strength to tell Tommy Lee - ixnay on the cheap ippers-Stay!

Dilana was hotter than all of them anyway. Made them look bad.

Enough about that, on to the elimination.

As Brooke called out the names of those who were included in the bottom three at some point during the night, the list continued to grow. Sure, there were the usual suspects, Zayra, Toby and Patrice. But this time we had a couple surprises - Storm and Magni.

Dave addressed Storm over her interpretation of "I Will Survive" - saying that unlike the version by the band Cake, it lacked "irony." Ok, let me tell you something about Cake - because I had to listen to people rave about that crapass band for years when I lived in Sacramento - and about ironic music. John McCrea of Cake can't fucking sing - ok? He has to make everything seem ironic, because you can't take anything he tries to sing seriously. Ever. Second, a man singing that song is a joke by definition. That is a song about female empowerment, it's about not letting someone belittle you - it's about overcoming emotional abuse. Men don't get that. (Yes, I am a man - but I'm married to a woman whose first husband was an abusive, drugged-out rapist pedophile PRICK! I get it because I've seen and had to deal with the emotional devastation that shithead wrought)

Storm was Dead-ON with her performance of that song. It's about POWER, recognizing that you have it and taking it back. Fuck Irony. Fuck Cake.

Oh, and Fuck Dave.

Storm's response was great too - "I gave it 1000% percent. It may not be my favorite song, but it's somebodies favorite song." Heck, the way she shouted 'YEAH!" when they announced she had been among the bottom three was perfect. Not the whiny "Again?" of Zayra or the "Of course" from Jill - it was "Hell Yeah - Bring it ON - Bitch!"

That alone is why Storm deserves to win - but probably won't.

Let me put it this way, I prefer Storm version of "I Will Survive" to the Cheese and Ham fest they put Dilana through a couple minutes earlier.

Ultimately the first singer to face elimination was Zayra, who again took a chance by doing an obscure song by Blue October. One that actually rocked and was very modern, very different. Her outfit worked - this time. She sounded good - mostly. It was cool - it ROCKED - and was actually tasteful for a change.

Second up Patrice, who re-did "Celebrity Skin" the song that Lukas had fubar-ed with his back to the audience while messing up the lyrics. Patrice not only faced the audience, she ran out into them, around behind them and up onto the Supernova dias. Total showmanship. I still have issues with her over-ennuciation of things. She's like the female Scott Stapp. But it was a great performance, and made Lukey look Stupey.

Last up, was - Magni? What the fuck? Even the CheesyNova boys were floored. But hey man, the public is fickle. Feces happens, then you flush. Magni didn't whine or whimper -he just went up and kicked "Creep" directly in the balls. Now like I said, I read some spoilers - and there was a debate going back and forth about whether Magni's version was better than Lukas.

It's no contest - Magni killed him.

I read a lot of people talk about Lukas being more "emotional". This bullshit is the sad sad legacy of Kurt Cobain. Kurt had an incredibly painful stomach condition, so his looking and sounding "pained" really wasn't always a matter of his being "in the moment" and unleashing the inner angst of the song - he was in fucking pain. Also, Kurt had a tendency to try and sing things that were out of his range, like those Meat Puppets songs from his Unplugged performance. He wasn't really into it, he simply couldn't hit the notes. There's a difference.

Lukas barely got through Creep, he had to cut off some of the notes near the end because he ran out of air. He was better on the encore, but the struggle was obvious. Sometimes it's more interesting to watch people struggle - I get that. Nascar is more interesting if you think there might be a crash. Not knowing what's going to happen creates tension and anticipation. Sure, makes sense. But you have to recognize superior talent and ability when you see and hear it -- and here's something that non-singers won't get -- by laying down as he sang the high notes.... Magni did a windmilling slam-dunk in Lukas's Face.

Laying on your back you have no support. When most people breath and talk, they rely on the weigh of their ribcage to press down on their lungs and push out the air. Technically that's wrong for singing because it creates too weak a flow of air, singers have to also push upward with their diaphram muscle just above their stomach. People who sing without their diaphram can't hold their notes -- they go wobbly, they run out of air and get cut off. (Which is what happened to Lukas when he did this song - and he was standing!) When you lay down you lose the effect of gravity pushing down - you have to do everything with your diaphram muscle alone. Magni not only did it, he did it easily -- he didn't cut off the first part of the major scream the way Lukas did. He wasn't shaky or dodgy on the head-voice section.

Winner - Magni by a TKO.

Now people may disagree about whether they "felt" something from one performance or the other - that's fine. That's a matter of the listener, watchers own inferrences - not the performers actual performance. One is a matter of opinion, the other is a matter of physics.

When Elimination time came - it was obvious. Hell, it's been obvious for weeks now but finally - finally - DING DONG THE Z IS DEAD.

Yes, she's been unpredictable. Sexy. Weird. Fucking strange. But there was no possible way she was ever going to front Supernova. They were simply prolonging the inevitable. Now it's over. I know she gained a ton of fans, and if anyone is likely to salvage a decent solo career out of this - Z probably will.

Heck, if the VelveetaBoys keep going the way they are going --- she'll probably do better than them in the long run.

Vyan

Rock Star Supernova : Week 7 Performance

Ok, that was a big steaming bowl of bogus. But before I get into the nastiness, lets address the pleasantries.

Zayra's song was really good. Really. Honest.

Her outfit was still funky as all get-out with the parachute pantaloons and a bikini top - but her song wasn't bad at all if you're really into the stylings of the invitro love-child of Celine Dion, Bjork and Selena. In 1999 it was Ricky Martin who had his coming out party on the Grammies and launched his english language career into the stratosphere, and I think Zayra just did the near impossible - first she topped Ricky, and second she may have just guaranteed herself a major recording and performing career at the center of the Latin Pop Exploitation II after she finally gets her boney ass kicked off this show.

As usual, her song and performance choice was completely ballsy. This gal doesn't do anything half-way, and always throws caution - not to mention common sense - to the wind. But let;s think rationally for a second, she's auditioning to be a member of a bluesy hard rock band, what part of that picture screams Vegas Pop Diva?

And it seemed like she'd just used a stun-ray from beneath her billowing skirt to dull the minds of the Suave Porn guys - because they seemed like they were under a spell. Only Gilby briefly escaped it by asking the 50,000 Jager shot question - "What part of that performance, had anything to do with us?"

Nothing. But it was sure purtee.

Magni was up second, and did his usual stellar job with David Bowie's "Starman". Knocked it out of the park. Problem is - he was also dull as a doornail - and it might be because he's almost "too good". His vocals are so polished there like plastic, they just slide right off of you. All the character and personality's been beaten out of his voice with a sledgehammer making it very generic sounding. Bowie doing this song would have been very distinctive, and I don't think Bowie's vocal technique it actually as good as Magni's - but in Rock that doesn't matter all that much. This performance just left me cold. He sounded great, and looked great- but Ho hum and Bah Humbug, I wasn't moved. I still have same problem with Magni that I've had for a long time; He's this seasons Mig, a truly great singer - probably the best voice among the men on the show - but does he have the force of personality and mental toughness it's going to take to keep up with Tommy Lee and Jason Newsted? I doubt it. (It's also interesting to note that last weeks reality episode didn't reveal what Magni did with the original song or how the SN boys reacted to it)

His bit about "In the old country - they sing" was excellent though.

Even though she really didn't do that much with the arrangement I really like Patrice's version of "Message in a bottle" much more than Magni's song. She has the some overtraining issues as Magni's, and usually doesn't rise above them but did this time. I especially like how they modified the harmonies and melody lines during chorus - that was cool. I only wish they'd let the song simmer down at that point, dropping most of the instrumenation - especially the strings - and let us just hear the voices. And her outfit with the bicycle shorts was certainly much more "Rock" than Vegas.

Lukas - the J.D. of this season - had his own Seal moment and managed not to crash and burn on it. (Yes, I know this song was written by Nickleback - but they clearly stole their melody from Seal's "Kiss from a Rose". Their song was used on the Spiderman soundtrack, Seal's was from George Clooney's final Batman film. Go ahead, listen to them back-to-back, different words - same song.) Anyway, Lukas did a great job and pretty much killed it - even sitting down. Like Tommy I think the sit down thing is so "Not Rock" - but the Luke-man managed to pull it off. I still think this contest is basically his to lose, after both songwriting challenges everyone else is milse behind him. Plus, unlike Magni and soem fo the others - his voice has TONS of character and personality. He's got one in a million tone - one in a billion, even. The only complaint they have is his tendency to close up his throat, and that can be fixed. Also you have to factor in the intesity of the Lukatics. Looking rather unscientifically at the average number of posts on each singers individual forum on RockBand.com and other sites -- Lukas is waaay ahead of everyone else.

Let's be realistic. Certainly the band is going to make the final choice, but they aren't going to do it without input from management and their label. This contest allows for a label - which I strongly suspect is CBS - to prescreen the appeal of all these performers and to Market Test them thoroughly. By the time this is done, they'll know whose going to sell records and who isn't.

Lukas is going to sell records. Big time.

Checking both the RIAA and allmusic.com, INXS's "Switch" has topped out at #17 on the Billboard Top 200 and "Pretty Vegas" has gone Gold as a single. The fact that the full album hasn't gone gold indicates the record may not have "legs" to sustain sales, but if the band remains out on tour long enough that may change and this record will eventually be certified Gold and then Platinum. The Rock Star show gave them an impressive boost that I don't the final record has really lived up to, but they haven't done badly. Not at all. And I admit that despite the fact I loathe J.D. with the intestify of a - supernova.

All Lukas has to do is avoid doing something really terminally stupid, and he's got the job. His Rooster do comes close - but not close enough.

Ok, now we've arrived at the wrong-zone. I haven't read how any of the other fans are reacting yet, but Storm was Fucking Awesome on "I Will Survive". I could see the SN boys not loving it, but the crowd was not wrong - that was totally killer. She had been struggling with what she was going to do with that song (as shown in the reality segment) and went through several different iterations of arrangements - but what she finally did was All Storm. Completely Storm-ified. Tender and vulnerable one moment, tough and scary the next. That was easily her best and most polished vocal performance - plus it really displayed a lot of the unique character of her voice. She was wise not to try and out gospel Gloria Gayner, she instead took it in an entirely different direction added a touch of Jazz and Lounge Singer (which is also part of her background) and then ending with that acapella great vocal riff. I love what she did with the melody, shifting it around and modified the time - just as she had shown us previously on "We are the Champions" she has a great melodic sense.

She made that song into her own and it was awesome to behold.

Now, I would agree with the assessment that it probably wasn't a Supernova styled performance but let's be honest. NOTHING that was performed tonight was appropriate for Supernova. Nothing. You think Magni Leasure Suit was "Rock"? Not even a little.

Now I'm not one to give in to conspiracy theories - (ok, yes I am) - but I think the reaction by the SN boys was too extreme. I think they're full of male bovine feces. It seemed planned to me. They've never had anything negative to say about any of Storm's performances, and they just may have picked this one -- knowing that she was struggling with it in a way she never had before -- to deliberately slam the crap out of her just to see how she handles it. (If I recall correctly, INXS did the same thing to Mig at one point - essentially panning one of his performances just to see if it created a meltdown and crisis of confidence.) In the real world of rock- you're going to get panned. It's absolutely guaranteed, and don't let a poncy little asshole like Michael Mustow of the Village Voice be the one to do it - he's verbally slice you into cutlets.

You gotta be tough as steel.

But I already know Storm is tough, in fact I doubt this little blip will even phase her and she'll "pass" their little test. And the likelyhood of her going to be bottom 3 over it, is slim and nil. Lukas may be the most popular among posters and likely voters, but Storm is second. This contest is honestly only between the two of them. It's even possible that the extremely uncalled for comments by Supernova will cause a fan revolt of voting for Storm - to which I wouldn't be surprised. Dave and Supernova were the ones "Sauted in Wrong-sauce" this time.

I wasn't much impressed with Toby's performance of "Salsbury Hill". He sang it fine, even handling the odd timing. The bongos were a nice touch, but - Bah, humbug. Lick Magni, it left me cold.

Ryan has really learned to Bring The Drama, and really remains probably the top male contender after Lukas. I wouldn't have said that a couple weeks ago, but he's been hitting it out of the park each and very time. He did about as a good a job with Phil Collin's "In the Air Tonight" as anyone could do - except for Phil. He's really been showing just how powerful his vocals are to good effect - I'm not sure anyone one else, except Dilana or Storm could have done this song justice.

Lastly we had Dilana herself, and although she thinks "she's the one" -- as Zathrus from Babylon 5 would say... she's "not the one.... not the one". She did a good job with "Cats in the Craddle" but I still think the rock version by Ugly Kid Joe ten years ago was better. She did fine, but it wasn't anything special.

Even though she pulled Tommy aside during the Vegas party and made her play, saying "Just send the other seven home" I think she completely missreads just how much she flamed out on the song-writing challenge. She's completely clueless that the band thought her lyrics were "cornball". If there's a challenge that you absolutely have to nail - it's that one, and she blew it. I don't think you come back from that. She's done. It's only a matter of time. Yes, she's a fabulous performer, but if she can't write - she's practically useless to them. And like I said, she's not the most popular person on the show -- not even close.

Vyan

Rock Star Supernova : Week 7 Reality

This week the hamsters finally escaped the cage - only to move to one with much better gilding in Las Vegas. The Suave Porn guys took them to the Hard Rock Hotel and introduced them to the stage of The Joint where Supernova will be having it's very first live performance on New Years Eve.

The remaining Eight Rockers were blown away, and all felt the intesity to WIN this contest grow two or three-fold. Actually standing there on the stage, and imagining the room filled with "sweaty people" really got them off.

Ok, don't be gross - you know what I mean.

They had a chance to live the "ROCK STAR"(TM) Lifestyle, with a private jet, Champange and Jager, a penthouse suite at the Hard Rock with it's own bowling alley. Living Large and partying hard.

But just remember, the watchful eye of the Suave Porn is always upon ye.

Both of the two Rocker Boys, Lukas and Toby, drank themselves into a comatose stupor by 10pm! My grandmom is still up at 10pm - said Ryan. Jason commented that letting yourself look stupid at a party isn't exactly what they're looking for ... (this coming from a card-carrying of Alco-holica! - but then again, maybe that's bitter experience talking)


Once the party was over, where reality and the hangovers began to set in - the rockers were back in L.A. and facing another fun and exciting round of Song Selection Musical Chairs.

Only this time, the empty chair was for an Original Song, and Ryan butt was aimed straight for it. Only Zayra's boney ass was in the way. The tusselled, they struggled and eventually the stronger man won.

Zayra.


Ryan, prodded by Toby decided to do "In the Air Tonight" by Phil Collins. But wait, the cat fights weren't over yet as Toby had his own battle with Dilana over who would perform a Peter Gabriel song "Salsbury Hill" with the chance to play - yet again - with Gilby Clarke. Since the House band is going "Unplugged" this week, this should turn out very interesting. In order to choose which one of them would get the song, Dilana asked Toby to streak around the pool naked -- which, he did. One full lap, with a cannon ball in the middle and some rather strategically placed hands.

But the one person who started having the most difficulty during reheasals was surprising. Storm. She found trying to Rock out Gloria Gayner's "I Will Survive" in an acoustic setting to be a bit of a bitch. But if anyone can pull it off - Storm can, and she definately will survive - even if she has to ride Magni to do it.

Vyan